How to Care for Your Introvert

One of the main differences between introverts and extroverts, is that extroverts get their energy from hanging out with other people, whereas introverts…aren’t mentally ill. Now, if you’re looking to get an introvert,you can either adopt a baby one, known as a “Shylet” Or rescue an adult from an introvert shelter. Generally referred to as a “Library”. On arriving home, show your new introvert the location of the litter tray, the feeding bowl, and any windows it can jump out of in case the doorbell rings. A pair of introverts is called an “Awkward” A group of introverts is called an “Angst” They are generally never found together in the wild except by accident in which case they will apologize for making eye-contact, nod politely, then run screaming in opposite directions. Contrary to popular belief, introverts don’t dislike human company They just utterly despise it Interaction with introverts can be problematic A typical conversation might run: Extrovert: Hi Introvert: Helloooo Extrovert: How’s it going? Introvert: Yes. Introvert: (F**k!) Extrovert:What? Introvert: Haha, how about that much anticipated sports match last night eh? Extrovert: What? Introvert: FU…! Introvert: Stuff over here to do a bit now, better runaroo Extrovert: What? Introvert: Mmmnnnnnnne-eeeeaaaaaaaa Extrovert: What? Introvert: F**k…! Introversion itself probably results from a genetic mutation In fact, introvert DNA is oriented in parallel lines, As the two chains are too embarrassed to twist around on each other. This leads to an enlarged “Sorrybellum” and a malformed “Anxietal Lobe”. However, introverts make for excellent fighting animals. They will level up from Occasional Reader, to Social Hermit, then with enough experience evolve into their final form, Professional EVE: Online Player. The introvert class comes with a low-maintenance cost, but extremely high embarrassment risk. Against extroverts, they can use the “Retreat to Toilet” move, to recover HP Deploy the “Agreeable Conversation” defense block but are totally useless against the “Direct Eye-Contact” attack. *shhoooweee..!!* *blip bloop 8 bit-noises* If you want to reward your introvert, why not treat it to, A colorful toy, A tummy rub, Not forcing it to talk publicly about its emotions ever, And not forcing it to talk publicly about its emotions, F**king ever. Mistreating your introvert may prompt a visit from the “Antisocial Services” So try to avoid: belittling your introvert in front of its friends, Manhandling the first editions of books, Talking s**t about Kurt Vonnegut, Or, insisting on phoning, rather than texting. *vrrrrrrrm* (vibrating samsung phone) *vrrrrrrrm* (vibrating samsung phone) (Introvert God hammer:) *bang* *bang* *bang* *vibrate* **Unintelligible introvert grunting / defense calls** *HAMMER MASHING* Failure to observe these instructions May result in your introvert exhibiting extremely backhanded compliments, a lack of polite sign-offs at the end of e-mails, or serving your tea only lukewarm and it tasting suspiciously like piss. Like most humans, introverts do have romantic tendencies, Generally, the mating call goes something like: Introvert: Sorry I… don’t mean to interrupt but… is someone sitting here? No? Ah.. Hmmm…. Actually, I… I think I left the gas on. *Heeeuuuuuuuu* (Chokes up) “GOODBYE FOREVER” (choking) Directness can also be an issue. How’s it going? Generally equates to: I find you very attractive. Hope to see you again=I’m falling quite madly in love And, “I think about you occasionally”, translates as: “I would literally remove my ears with a rusty spoon just to see you with your socks off.” Dating an introvert can be quite an experience A romantic evening might consist of the two of you having a glass of wine and reading a book together, separated only by being in different countries, and communicating in no way whatsoever. If you grow tired of your introvert, No need to pawn it off on a friend Simply disconnect the router, or suggest that it might’ve offended someone slightly, and it will quietly run away in the night. Owners do occasionally come to resemble their pets. You yourself might be an introvert without realizing, if you: Find yourself mentally exhausted after hanging out with people, Even those you like, Enjoy dining or going to the movies alone, Go to leave your apartment, notice your neighbor is out in the hallway, Then suddenly grow convinced that you need to go back inside to do some “Important Stuff” Consider small talk the verbal equivalent of integral calculus Or utilize a ten-point grading system in your head for how the conversation is going so far. With the Postman. In any case though, if you’re looking for a pet that isn’t constantly defacing the furniture, Or trying to murder you in your sleep, Why not get an introvert? Not as good as dogs, but much less likely to piss everywhere. Bye.

100 thoughts on “How to Care for Your Introvert

  1. 90% of comments "As an introvert"…hmmm I don't think the 10% of people that comment on a video are the introverts but maybe most of the comments are because they have to seek their social satisfaction elsewhere. This is not because they don't like talking to others it seems to me because they are a seriously misunderstood creature and after being misunderstood it is easier to refrain from future social interaction rather than continue to have your self-esteem torn down by others. Sadly many eventually conform to the socially acceptable form of speech and communication making them an ever-increasing endangered species. Shows how important it is to try and understand others and talk to other people and their views and ideas. The progression and strength we have is only achieved by working together but everyone usually only takes like 10% of what they here and then like 90% of their own thoughts which is wired because their thoughts are an accumulation of others. If we can learn to understand others and their ideas we will progress so much faster. It is 2am rn I don't even know why I typed this except maybe because I am tired and or just want some positive feedback. It is funny we watch or at least I watch youtube so much and I think the primary reason is because of the social connection and it gives a sense of meaning. This goes back to the problem. We all want meaning and social connection but don't really connect with others and other thoughts. Well, Ima sleep hope I get a reply or two. Sorry if it's hard to understand I relise I say that because I don't want negative feedback which is another flaw in us because we always adjust what we say and craft what we say as to not get negative feedback from others but if we are avoiding that then what's the point.

  2. I think an extrovert is trying to adopt me.. But evry time we speak I just say something acward and then end up running away..

  3. The intro already got me:
    One of the main differences between introverts and extroverts is that extroverts get their energy from hanging out with other people, where as introverts…aren´t mentally ill 😀

  4. I think a big part of being an introvert is we are really nice people and in my experience that is a weakness in this world. We get taken advantage of. And end up in situations that we shouldn't be in because we try to make others happy then realise halfway through that this investment of myself will require more than i have to give so we eject and then everybody else is like what a weirdo. I just run out of steam and have to retreat to that sweet sweet solitude and then after 5 months of solitude it's like ok this ain't healthy i need to hear someone else's thoughts for the sake of my last few shards of sanity. Everything in life is about balance. Too much of anything will hurt you. But it ain't easy to find the balance.

  5. I was terrified of winning an awesome prize one day. Because if i won I would have to walk up onto the stage in front of heaps of people 🙁

  6. You should have put a disclaimer here that it's almost impossible to adopt a introvert unless you find one at work or at school. sigh.

  7. I can tell I'm an introvert because I get nervous ordering food from a menu inside a public restaurant. Can anyone relate?

  8. However when a extrovert decides to date and introvert you get a rare subspecies that do enjoy people and conversations but from time to time be convinced that reading a book at home is better than having you battery's drained by people who you dislike, called an ambivert

  9. I am introvert who also desperately craves social interaction. If you start a conversation with me I’ll be forever in your debt.

    Also calls are sooooo much better than texting. If you text me the chances of getting a response are about 5%

  10. Whenever you want to text somebody but you’re afraid you’ve slightly offended them in some way and they may get even more irritated if you try another method of communication….

    Goddamn that feeling sucks

  11. Me: just trying to play some video games on my PC
    Friend: calls me on discord
    Me: waits for the ringing to be over to pretend I'm not here
    Friend: Calls a second time
    Now repeat until you have wasted your whole day pretending you're offline.
    Or in a less optimal situation you accept because you think maybe you can play toegther, but after 10 minutes you realize you would rather do something without other people but you can't end the call.

  12. Me: *minding my own bussiness:

    Phone: *vibrates

    Me: Oh fuck

    *stares at the phone for 5 minutes without doing anything and overthinking what it can be

    *pick it up and look what it was

    Phone: Battery low…

    Me: Oh nice

    Phone: …and 50 missed from friends and family, 254 unread texts and 124 emails

    Me: What a great time to be dead

  13. That's not an introvert. Introvert just means you like small company over large company not you can't have large company or be in a large group.

  14. Uh oh, I don’t think I’m a very good owner. I do the opposite of all these… i once even made one of my many introverts order the food face to face with an employee at Taco Bell, not because I didn’t want to, no, rather, I wanted a good laugh.. 😂 I make my introverts embarrassed in public and also make them face time and call ❤️❤️ it’s all out of love I swear, I think if I try a little harder I can make them extroverts

  15. the other day I had to small talk for 20 minutes with a guy that used to be my crush. Dude. I had never been less witty, less funny, and I had never stuttered that hard. Oh my god I still regret this.

    I ended up letting him talk about himself and asking him about stuff that went through my mind. But then its like, yea he´s done answering, i.. need to answer back. So yeah that was my downfall, but on the other hand I´m a pretty good listener I believe.

  16. A true introvert lvl 100:

    Phone: rings
    Me: meh…

    2 hours later:
    Phone: rings
    Me: oh please :/

    The next day, meeting the neighbor who didn’t stop calling:
    He: emm, HI ????
    Me: hi…

    If he dares confronting me the poor guy for the missed calls:
    Me: [firing my ultimate: SuperAkwardNova] oh, lol… yeah hehe

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