Oh so you want to know how comedy is therapeutic for me? Well, I rolled out of bed this morning in a cranky mood and here I had this great improv …
Oh so you want to know how comedy is therapeutic
for me? Well, I rolled out of bed this morning in
a cranky mood and here I had this great improv class to come to and what I know is that if
just get through the door and I walk in there and I play with people, I’m going to feel
so much different by the time it’s over… And I do! I had a wonderful time today with Sea Tea
Improv and the folks from Artreach. So, thanks. Register online at www.mhconn.org
Hey right in there oh so close your neighbor got 2, I think you can get 3 50 ways to get the most Halloween candy trick-or-treat I’m gonna need an extra …
Hey right in there oh so close your neighbor got 2, I think you can get 3 50 ways to get the most Halloween candy trick-or-treat
I’m gonna need an extra one for my buddy here Trick or Treat great way to get around trick or treat
I’m gonna need another one for my buddy over here and another one for my other
buddy I need an extra one for my brother or
sister who is sick thank you also I have I have actually have two brothers or
sisters who I say I actually have five trick-or-treat
oh my gosh it’s not a giant pink polar bear in your house oh my bad
oh wait is there a giant gorilla trick-or-treat you’re almost filled up
there all right anything in this huge bag I better help fill you up yeah take
more take more we gotta fill up that bag alright trick-or-treat here’s some candy um can
I have some more I’m really hungry oh you’re hungry yeah go ahead thank
you I actually don’t think I had breakfast today
can I have some more breakfast is important how about lunch I don’t think I did what about dinner did you have dinner yet you’re poor thing no oh welcome trick or treat
my daddy says if I don’t bring him twice as many candies as last year I’m in a lot of trouble oh poor thing here here take some more even yeah wait
a minute what are you doing with the blanket I’m having a picnic wait a
minute where’s all my picnic food okay trick-or-treat oh how about some more raisins no thanks but I really do like Reese’s peanut
butter cups so I’ll trade you these delicious
nutritious raisins for one of those for two of those Reese’s peanut butter cups
Oh – okay I guess some trick or treat no thank you you have such a nice house oh
that’s so nice of you here have another piece of candy
oh thank you you’re so nice oh that’s nice of you to say here have another piece of candy and you’re so generous oh that’s really sweet have another piece sir what time is it Oh one minute till 9:00 well
trick-or-treating is over at 9:00 and you have an awful lot of candy left so I
was wondering if I could just have some or else that would go to waste
well you’re right you know what yeah I just I’ll just give all this to you
there you go just take the whole board Thanks trick-or-treat there you go oh you’re
just gonna end up eating all this candy when this is over right yeah I guess it
would really be better for you if I just took it all better better for my healthy
yeah yeah yeah thank you thank you what’s wrong oh here I’ll give you some
extra can you go ahead yeah did that cheer you up a little just a little here
have some more trick-or-treat oh can I have some extra
for our charity Oh a charity yeah sure go ahead and the problem what is the
charity me we have 200 more houses come on trick or treat oh just come up this
really long flight of stairs they’re right here I’ll skip this one hmm it says take one I guess that means
take one Bowl Jillian shouldn’t we be going to the rich neighborhoods to get the
best candy you’d think that but the houses are too far apart and some of the
people that are pretty stingy good point so you saying I’m not rich yeah pretty much bye have a nice day um is there a reason you’re carrying
eggs well if you give me enough candy you won’t have to find out why I’m
carrying eggs the reason you’re carrying all that toy let paper give me enough
treats and you won’t have to find out why I’m carrying this toy let paper oh
look at the cute little trick-or-treaters
actually I’m here to offer you some candy oh that’s so nice of you generous
here oh you know to be so generous yeah just take as much as you know
actually I’m allergic to coconut anyway oh yeah I was good last year I kept
repeating promised I’d never go through it again by trick-or-treat oh here you
go alright see you later thank you trick or
treat oh I’m looking for my twin box it’s win look it’s a little pumpkin trick or
treat oh it’s a witch with a white mask and a completely different bag why are
you walking backwards hey yeah yeah nice Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup oh those are
my dad’s favorite he’s just gonna eat the whole thing can I have something
else for me oh how about a KitKat that’s my mom’s favorite trick or treat
there ya go oh you’re just giving away one cuz all your other neighbors were
just giving away three and you’re one neighbor you even give away five but I
guess it’s stuff that was a hang down the road yeah I think you know what I
get up to him here you can you know there you go sorry I have a too strict your second
time lemon gotta go bye trick-or-treat you really didn’t have to
do this but you just did thank you so much I’m so appreciative
oh what a polite little girl here have some more we’re not done here well maybe if I just give me a little more here like those you know I have a lot yeah ah giving out candy I can relate I used to
think that all the time because I used to not want to go trick-or-treating can
you believe it and also I saw your Halloween decorations out back and I had
some of those they’re really cool I know found them at Walmart they’re great no
no some more candy trick-or-treaters there’s a whole lining
out there all right who’s next trick-or-treating or something okay
there’s third person in line Wow three kids familiar but not three kids I
definitely three right okay trick-or-treat
yeah go I know I love this face out there my mom was thinking of getting the
same kind of treat but she forgot what kind of tree it was yeah those are
actually pear trees that just don’t grow pears so they don’t look like pear trees
because they’re not a pears hanging from them so that that’s what kind so you
could tell your mother that know I want to be a Halloween Scrooge but I can’t get tired
of this really easily and I just kind of wish it was over well you know what the
sooner you get rid of that candy you know the sooner you can get back to
doing whatever it is you do yeah candy now I’m out of candy perfect Oh what’s
the matter honey my mom just told me out it was my last Halloween because I’m
getting too old what’s your last Halloween here take a lot of candy yeah
all right I better not see you next year I know I am from a country where we do
not celebrate Halloween in America this is so exciting Oh have some extra candy
thank you yeah no problem bye wait you didn’t say what country
you’re from oh what’s wrong my parents made me late because they were fine
and stuff and yeah and now I have barely any candy in this bag well you know
let’s start here you’re gonna catch up yeah just take a lot of candy so you can you see how yeah all right what are you doing Jillian I gotta build
up my endurance so I can get maximum candy on Halloween oh here you go
console I have one for Tina who’s Tina she’s my imaginary friend imaginary
friend that’s so cute wait how many Imaginary Friends do you go are you so
out of breath I’ve been running between every house oh
my trick-or-treat okay okay what I seek I
see my tail oh okay good night whew okay she’s really slowing me down so can I
just like leave her here for the rest of the night
no okay thanks bye these stairs are a little steep oh I’ll
come down now just throw it okay trick or treat
what’s the net for put the candy in the net saves me about five steps per house
oh isn’t it awkward carry nothing around I don’t know what are you doing I’m changing to a cat
mask because I remember from last year this person’s a cat person
not a dog person so many treats so many treats I don’t know why you are so just
fun tree okay trick or treat oh here you go what’s wrong well you
know I’m just so close to beating my record from last year and I’m just a
little bit off and there’s something like a couple of minutes left for
trick or treat oh I’ll help you beat your record how many more do you need about fifty fifty you just yeah yeah thank you so much a challenge Hey trick or treat
there you go will you give me some more if I tell the other kids not to rank you
well alright it’ll keep them committed I’ll tell the teenagers not to prank you
oh that’s gotta be worth a few more I’ll tell my pets not to prank you your pets? whoa whoa what’s wrong what’s happening must have sugar oh my goodness oh yeah you’re gonna fuel up here awfully quickly so that was 50 ways to
get the most Halloween candy do you have any tricks of your own let us know in
the comments this is part of the 13 days of Halloween there’s still lots of days
left so be sure to subscribe to babyteeth more to see them all happy
Halloween goodbye I’ll get the candy this is more candy for me not you
I was just joined lessly
– Hey can I hold your candy? – No. – Come on man. Just let me hold it, I’ll hold your hand though. – Finn can I hold your candy? – …
– Hey can I hold your candy? – No.
– Come on man. Just let me hold it, I’ll
hold your hand though. – Finn can I hold your candy? – No. (laughing) – [Missy] Finn can I hold your candy? – No. ♫ This is our life, let’s live it ♫ Live it forever (spooky music) – Happy Halloween! It’s Halloween you guys. – Yay! I’m already in costume. – [Bryan] Missy’s gonna be
dressed like this all day. – I just wanna be comfortable. – Yes good morning guys. It is finally Halloween. The boys are so excited
to go trick or treating. Ollie is at school where they’re
having a Halloween party. – Yeah, Halloween party. – [Bryan] So I have been
watching this little monster all morning who is a little crazy. Yeah, but yeah this is probably
a good thing for you to wear all day babe because it’s
freezing and it’s actually sprinkling right now on the camera. – I have to make sure the boys
are gonna be warm tonight. – Yeah.
– We don’t normally have to deal with this so much but it’s gonna be cold tonight. – I know I love that California was like, “oh it’s almost November first
okay, I’ll make it cold.” (laughing) Yeah we’re ready for the winter. If you guys are looking for
our annual Halloween special we do every single year as a family, we put that up a couple
days ago because we wanted to put it up early; so if
you check out the link in the icard now, you can watch
our new Halloween special where we did the
nightmare before Christmas and it was so much fun. Probably like our craziest,
best, Halloween special yet. I am walking through the
courtyard and down here because I wanna show you guys something, but I don’t know if you
got a real clear picture of during our Halloween party. Look what we have going on over here. This is the well; we did a Halloween party and we did a really cool
haunted maze and like interactive adventure
that was Ring themed, so this was the well and
it’s just a bunch of bricks. Look at all the tapes in
there; people had to throw the cursed tapes in here
to like get rid of it and then Samara was
like climbing out of it. It was kind of nuts; there’s
even like moss everywhere. I love that; I thought
that was pretty genius. Some people were like riding
through here on the Polaris and then they look and they see Samara coming out of the well. We definitely love Halloween you guys. It’s one of our fun holidays
because the kids love dressing up and pretending
to be other people basically. By the way this is all
cleared out super nicely. It didn’t used to be like this. We have plans to do like a little park hopefully by early next year. – Alright guys, I am
actually getting ready to pick up Ollie and I am
dressed as a gorilla. I told you guys I’m wearing
this gorilla suit all day. It’s not only just so
comfortable, but it’s warm and it’s Halloween so I can
wear whatever I want right? So I’m excited to see what he
thinks when I’m wearing this in front of all his friends. I hope he’s not embarrassed. Alright now that I’m out of the
car I’m actually embarrassed so here we go. Hi! Happy Halloween. Did you have a fun Halloween party? You ready to come home with Mama? – Yeah. – I just missed you so much. Alright Ollie what did you
think of Mommy dressed up? – Good. – Were you embarrassed at all? No? Did you think it was pretty cool? – Yeah.
– You got a pretty cool Mama. Everyone was looking at me
like, what is she dressed as? Why is she wearing that, but it was fun. I think he liked it. Alright we got one more place to go into. Are you ready to go
shopping with your gorilla? – Um, yeah.
– Yeah. We gotta get candy to pass
out for trick or treaters, so. Let’s go shopping. I think that’s enough candy. (spooky music) – Alright it is pumpkin carving time and I’m not sure what I’m gonna carve, but it’s the perfect time to pumpkin carve because Finn is taking a nap;
he needs to take a nap tonight or he’s not gonna be able
to go trick or treating and he can’t really carve pumpkins. Ollie what do you wanna
carve into your pumpkin? – I’m going to carve a bat. – [Bryan] A bat? – Yeah.
– Alright good luck with that. This is the future; Ollie look at this. Look at this pumpkin carver. You just push this button,
automatic pumpkin carve. We did not have that growing up Ollie. What what’re you doing? Don’t stab your pumpkin. Okay, this is what
happens when you let your four year old carve a pumpkin. Alright, I’m gonna help you okay? (spooky music) Alright Ollie I cut the
top, can you pull it? Pull it super hard. You got it, almost got it. Oh, it’s actually really in there huh? Whoa!
– Whoa. – See now you can take it off. Look at those. – Ew.
– Ew. That’s what the inside
of a pumpkin looks like. – [Missy] Now we gotta
get all the seeds out. – You gotta get all that out now, okay? – He’s like, ah–
– Don’t worry. It’s the 21st century; we have
tools for this kind of thing. – [Missy] He’s so afraid of the gunk. Ollie your hands are
going to get dirty okay? – Yeah it’s okay if your hands get dirty. That’s why it’s fun, ‘kay? – [Missy] We’ll wash our hands after. – Do you wanna take your shirt off? – [Missy] Watch Mama, ready? – Hand going in the pumpkin.
– Oh look at all the guts. – But you know what, he’s a lot like me because I do not stick my
hand in pumpkins anymore. I did that when I was
a kid and I was like, you know what I’m over that. – Well he’s a kid–
– This thing works amazing. – [Missy] I know, and now we gotta save all the pumpkin seeds so we
can eat them later, ‘kay? – Are you gonna eat those later Ollie? – Um, no. – He’s like–
– So all you do is you scrape the inside of your pumpkin and then you take it out
and put it in the bowl. Can you do that? – Okay.
– There you go, kiddo. (spooky music) This is Ollie’s bat, huh Ollie? – [Missy] So Daddy drew out a bat for you. – This is an easy part, okay? See the wing? Go ahead and try. – [Missy] You gotta
saw it, back and forth. – There you go, keep going. Good job, just like that. There you go. – [Missy] It’s hard. – You wanna pull that piece out? – Yeah.
– Oh one side. Oo, that looks so good. Wow! – Hopefully it’ll look like a bat. Say hi.
– Hi. – We’re carving pumpkins. Ollie’s vlogging. – What does it look like Ollie? – Um, a pumpkin. – You don’t see anything specific? Who is it? – Um, a zombie. – Oh my goodness.
– Jack. – [Missy] Yes. – Mama’s carving Jack. Finn doesn’t know to carve a pumpkin. (spooky music) – So we are over at Mimi
and Papa’s house now and the boys are getting
their costumes on. The sky is starting to darken
which means it’s almost time to trick or treat. Oh my goodness would you
look who just walked in. Jack Skellington.
– It’s just me. – [Bryan] Oh it’s just you, okay. You ready to go trick or treating, buddy? – Yep.
– Yep. Finn’s getting his ballet tights on and he seriously looks like a
ballet dancer, it’s so cute. Look at him. – Do a little twirl ready? (screaming) – [Bryan] You’re gonna
have to catch that ghost. Ah! Costume going on. Good job kiddos. – Now we need your collar. – That’s so cool.
– He got chocolate on it. – [Bryan] And look
we’ve got Jack and Zero. – Is it on right?
– Is it on? Yay! Finn you look so cute buddy. – Oh my gosh are you a dog? Go bark bark. – I’m the real Jack. – Oh my gosh, you’re the
real Jack, not the fake one. – [Bryan] The real Jack
Skellington you guys. – Say trick or treat. – [Bryan] Yeah if you could
teach him trick or treat that’d be great. He just say, ba ba ba. – Trick or treat
– Trick or treat. You look so good Jack Skellington. You ready to go trick or treating buddy? – Yeah.
– Yeah. So what’re you gonna tell
people when you see ’em as Jack; what does Jack say? He says, “I’m the pumpkin king”. – I’m the pumpkin king.
– That’s right. And Zero you gotta work on your bark okay? Say bark bark. And we got their buckets for tonight. Funny story, I actually
thought very much ahead about like a month ago
ordered their buckets so that they have ’em custom embroidered and they came and they were
super cute and I was excited to get them to them and then
we couldn’t find them anywhere. That’s what we get for
ordering things early. – I know I feel like anytime
we were like trying to be extra prepared it doesn’t work. – [Bryan] Yeah. – Hey Finn, um, who’s that?
– Batman. – [Ollie] That’s the real Batman. – [Missy] That is a real Batman. – Does Batman need reading glasses? – [Missy] Batman, what happened
to your eyesight Batman? – I have eye problems. Are you being a good boy? – [Missy] What do you think of that? Do you like that?
– Yeah. – Give Batman a kiss. [Missy] Give Batman kisses. (laughing) He’s like scared of him. Alright we’re off to go trick or treating. Oh my little boys look so cute. And he’s down, first one. You okay buddy? Alright boys. My mom’s a giraffe; we’re
going trick or treating. Here we go. Finn are you gonna say trick or treat? – Trick or treat. – [Mimi] They haven’t opened the door yet. – Hello! – [Missy] Stage fright. – There you go sweetie. Which one you like? You like this one? – Yeah.
– Alright. – [Mimi] What do you say? Thank you.
– You’re welcome. – [Missy] Say thank you. – Bye. – [Missy] Was that so cool? – Yeah.
– Yeah. I think he literally got a
stage fright and was like oh my gosh there’s candy in front of me. I’m just gonna grab it and go. Look at Luna’s joining us. – Luna’s going trick or treating. – Luna’s first trick or treating. I think um Karma has
come with us a few times trick or treating so
this is Luna’s first time and Karma’s taking a break this year. (spooky music) – Trick or treat. – [Missy] You have to wait
until they open Ollie, ‘kay? – Hello.
– What do you say? You gotta say trick or treat. – Trick or treat. (laughing) – [Missy] There you go. Say thank you. – Take a couple more. Here, you guys are so cute. What about you Batman,
you need some candy? – I’m good. – You guys I’m just so surprised that he’s wearing his costume
because it was a struggle the whole time we were
filming our Halloween special. I think he realizes if he keeps
it on, then he gets candy. (spooky music) Alright we are still
practicing our trick or treat. Hopefully we get it right this time right? – Okay.
– Okay. Hi, what do you say? – Trick or treat.
– Yeah! – [Mimi] Oo that’s a nice policeman. – [Missy] What do you say now? – Thank you.
– Good job. – You did it Ollie; you
said trick or treat. (spooky music) Poor Ollie is like, um
that’s a little scary. (laughing) – [Mimi] You know he’s just
a toy from the store right? (spooky music) – Trick or treat. – Hey can I hold your candy?
– No. – Come on man. Just let me hold, oh I’ll
hold your hand though. – Finn can I hold your candy?
– No. – Finn can I hold your candy?
– No. (laughing) – So we are headed to a street
that we have been eyeing since Halloween season started
and it is a Jack Skellington house so the kids are
all in their costumes and ready to meet Jack. You excited? – Ya! – [Missy] Look Ollie it’s Sally. And there’s Jack. – There’s Zero!
– And Zero’s over there. Alright get your candy. Yeah, Finn get your candy. They’re obsessed with this right here. – Thank you. (upbeat music) – [Missy] Alright boys how you doing? – Good.
– Are you getting tired? Yeah. – Finn you’re worn out. You want me to hold your candy? – He can barely walk, but. Finn let’s go. The boys are exhausted to
so we’re heading back now. Their buckets are full, oh my gosh. He just threw out all his little sticks. Come on Finny. By the way did anyone
find it ironic that my mom is the giraffe? She’s like the shortest person and she’s like the tallest
animal so, kind of funny. – [Bryan] Whoa, look at all
that candy you got dude. – Yeah.
– What do you thinking right now; are you pretty excited? – Yeah. – [Bryan] So I take it you
got your favorite candy, Skittles covered, right? That should be good for
the rest of the year. Gummy bears cool. What else you have in
here that’s really cool? Whoa a Sour Patch Kids? Nice, dude. – Chocolate.
– And chocolate. – [Missy] Oo, so much good stuff. – [Bryan] You did so good. Did you have fun trick or treating? – Yeah.
– Are you ready to eat all of this candy? – Yeah. Okay; alright Finn, what’d you get? Dump it out. He’s so excited! Look at all that candy! Finn you had a great turn
out for the Kit Kat’s. Yes, daddy’s favorite. This is your Halloween tax. – Alright what can auntie steal? – [Bryan] Uh oh, auntie needs something. Can you give auntie something? Are you ready to share? – That’s not a lot of candy. What’d you do wrong? – I think Papa has a big glove full. – [Bryan] Oh batman glove? – This is not that much
candy if you ask me. – You’re supposed to give ’em pillowcases, not what you guys gave them. – They have little legs. There’s only so far they can go. Good job little ghost. Luna had a lot of fun too on her walk huh? She was so good. Alright you guys. That’s right, Halloween’s over. I’m already wearing my Christmas onesie. That’s it for Halloween 2017, Daily Bumps. We had a blast. I’m gonna have in the
icard, a playlist of all the Halloween fun we had this year. Let’s us know in the comments
below what has been your favorite Halloween moment on
Daily Bumps this past month and we’re excited; end
of the year’s coming up. We’ve got some fun
family things coming up. Gonna be a good time so
thank you guys for watching and subscribing and liking
and all that fun stuff. We will see you guys mañana. Bye. (upbeat music)
– YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T DO HALLOWEEN IN ENGLAND. – IT’S KIND OF CATCHING ON NOW, BUT WHEN I WAS A KID, IT WAS REALLY NOT BIG FOR WHATEVER REASON. YEAH, I …
– YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T
DO HALLOWEEN IN ENGLAND. – IT’S KIND OF CATCHING ON NOW,
BUT WHEN I WAS A KID, IT WAS REALLY NOT BIG
FOR WHATEVER REASON. YEAH, I MEAN, I’VE NEVER BEEN
TRICK OR TREATING IN MY LIFE, WHICH IS A FACT THAT SORT
OF AMAZES A LOT OF PEOPLE, AND I THINK I’M PROBABLY
MAYBE MISSING OUT A LITTLE BIT. THAT WAS LIKE A LITTLE “OH.”
– YEAH, THEY FEEL BAD FOR YOU. DID YOU KNOW
YOU WERE MISSING OUT? DID YOU KNOW
THAT KIDS GOT CANDY, AND YOU THOUGHT,
“OH, I DON’T GET CANDY”? – NO, I GUESS NOT. LIKE, I MEAN,
I GOT CANDY AS A KID. I JUST DIDN’T, LIKE,
GO DOOR TO DOOR FOR IT, I GUESS. I DON’T KNOW. BUT THAT STUFF
DOES SOUND FUN, SO MAYBE–AGAIN, I THINK
IF I STARTED TO DOING IT NOW IT WOULD BE ODD. THE ONE HALLOWEEN PARTY
I WENT TO WHEN I WAS VERY YOUNG I BELIEVE I GAVE YOU
A PHOTO OF, WHICH IS–‘CAUSE I WENT
AS KEITH FLINT FROM THE BAND PRODIGY,
WHEN I WAS, LIKE, SIX YEARS OLD. SO THAT’S ME
IN A SPIDERMAN COSTUME, WHICH I HAD RIPPED UP TO– – THAT’S ADORABLE.
– KIND OF PUNKY THING. THEN I GOT–
YOU CAN’T SEE HIM THERE. YEAH, YEAH,
THAT’S THE REAL KEITH THEN. THAT WAS, LIKE,
WHO, AT SEVEN YEARS OLD, I WAS LIKE,
“I WANT TO BE THAT GUY.” – WOW, YOU WERE VERY DARK
AT SEVEN. – I GUESS, YEAH.
SURPRISINGLY. I GOT LITTLE FAKE NOSE PIERCINGS
AS WELL. IT WAS AWESOME.
– THAT’S ADORABLE. – AND YOU MUST SEE PEOPLE,
THOUGH–OR– WELL, YOU DON’T, ‘CAUSE
YOU’RE NOT TRICK OR TREATING, BUT THEY’RE HARRY POTTER. YOU MUST SEE LOTS
OF HARRY POTTERS. – YEAH, NO,
IN THE NEW YORK PARADE, THERE’S A LOT,
AND THERE’S SOME– IT’S ALWAYS–YEAH,
IT’S ALWAYS FUNNY TO SEE. BUT I THINK THAT’S KIND OF–
THAT’S THE DEFINITION OF SUCCESS FOR A FILM LIKE THAT, IS, LIKE, HOW MANY PEOPLE
ARE BEING YOU AT HALLOWEEN. – EXACTLY.
– SIMILAR TO “HORNS.” LIKE, NEXT YEAR, I’M HOPING
THAT THERE’S, LIKE– THERE’S LOADS OF IGS HERE.
Hasan And Charlamagne Tha God On Mental Health | Deep Cuts | Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj | Netflix
Like, therapy has really worked for me. Like, just sitting down every week and venting to somebody, which is crazy ’cause I feel like I’m always venting on the radio, – …
Like, therapy has really worked for me. Like, just sitting down every
week and venting to somebody, which is crazy ’cause I feel like
I’m always venting on the radio, – Right.
– or on my podcast or something, But, actually sitting down with somebody
who you know is a captive audience, like, they have to listen to you… But you have a lot of people,
like, I don’t get that. No, they can turn the radio off, But once I pay you $150, you
there for me for that hour. This is from Sneha. Is Sneha here? “Who do you think is more fashionable –
you or your wife?” That’s a good question. Ummm, I would say
my wife. She’s been killin’ it right now. Beena’s been killin’ it.
She’s been killin’ it. Everyone’s like, “Damn.
You’re her accessory.” And I’m like, “Alright. I’ll take it.” “Who would you rather have
a drink with and why? Bolsonaro, Modi, or Trump?” This is from Vikashini. Vikashini? (Yeah. It’s actually Ashley, yeah.) It’s actually Ashley? (Yeah.) – (Yeah, I’m Vikashini. Ashley–)
– (I went with her..) (Yeah.) So, how– why was it Vikashini? – (‘Cause I–)
– (’Cause she got the tickets, she thought–) (Yeah.) Oh, you, like, made up one of those names
where you were like, “[email protected]?” (I’m the brown girl sitting
next to her. I am Vikashini.) Oh, you’re Vikashini! Okay. (I’m Ashley, but I’m the one that
thought of the question.) So, who would you– who would
you have a drink with? (Who would you have a drink with?) I don’t drink! (Awwwww.) No, but we can still do the game.
Everyone’s like, “Ah, impossible.” Like, I walk into a bar and
I melt like, “DAHHHH!” Like a werewolf, “SAHHH! Alcohol!” No. (I wanted it to be “Fuck, Marry, Kill:
Bolsonaro, Trump, or Modi?”) I mean, who would you
wanna have a drink with? (But I really wanted it to
be the other question.) Oh, FMK? (Yeah, yeah, yeah.) Oof. That’s really hard. I would love to be a fly on
the wall as they all three… Do you know what I mean,
like, I moderate? It’s just like, “Tonight, on the Authoritarian
Roundtable, we have Bolsonaro…” “What is your biggest pet peeve?” This is from Khushbu. Biggest pet peeve? What’s
your biggest pet peeve? (Being late.) Being late? (Yeah.) I’m super late. I’m so late.
I’m late all the– – I’m really bad.
– (That’s so desi.) No, I gotta get better.
But it’s not acceptable. Right? It’s so bad. It’s, like, so bad, it’s not
excusable. How do I beat– how do I not be late? – (Stop running on brown time.)
– (Yeah.) No, but that thing of, like, “running on
brown time” is just being inconsiderate. I need to be, like…you know what it is?
This is what I’m always doing. I’m always like, I– okay, I know I need to leave,
but I don’t account for travel time. And then I’m also like, “You know what?
I can do this thing, too, before I leave.” (That’s why.) Like– (You need to stop doing that.) I need to stop doing that. (It’s in your blood, so you can’t.) It’s in my– Are you always late? (I’m always late.) Are you always late? (No.) On time? So what’s the– So how do I do it? (Early, actually.) You’re early? Dude, that’s, like, crazy. That’s like– you being like,
“I’m early” is the– Remember when you went to school
with someone who was like, “My parents don’t have a TV in the house.” That’s the… Who’s early? You’re always early? (Yeah. It’s kinda crazy.) Damn. Just since you were
a kid though, right? (Yeah.) Yeah, so you can’t break it.
It’s just the way I am. That’s my excuse for not
growing as a person. “What’s the most heated
interview you’ve ever done?” You know, I’ve done quite
a few heated interviews, but I’ve never done the type of
interviews that our guest has done. Guys, give it up for Charlamagne tha God. What’s up, bro? How are you, man? You Good? Good to see you, man. Welcome, welcome. What’s happening? – What’s happening? Charlamagne tha God!
– Peace! Peace! Peace! Peace! Peace! Look at that, man! Oh wow, that guy. Look, I apologize in advance. Usually, you operate in
a seated environment. This is like– This is our octagon
of questions, so-to-speak. Nah, I like this, I like this. Because the
seating thing is– Everybody does that. – You know, man?
– Yeah. It’s good to, you know,
get your blood flowing. This to me is cool. I like to– We’ve been starting to have just
friends, people that I admire, people that I think are really cool come. They get to ask you questions,
I ask questions. – Okay.
– It’s just like– Yeah, it’s a town hall. Alright, let’s do it! Alright, so– I like town halls. I like talking directly to
the people. You know what I’m saying? Okay. What is– What is the most heated– Now, I’m familiar with a lot of
the interviews you’ve done. What is the most heated
interview that you’ve done that you felt in your career
was like, “Okay. I felt tense.” Not what other people have
given you credit for, which is mainly what I call
the “Kanye Yeezus.” Yeah. That was– that was the one. I mean, the most obvious answer
would be the Birdman interview, when he came in there with, like,
six or seven guys, and then all the goons, you know,
filed out in a single file line. Like walked out in a single file line. But actually, the most intense
one where I was like, “Alright, this dude might
knock my head off,” it was nelly. Really? Yeah. Because you gotta think: Nelly is
an athletic brother, he’s in shape, and he was very calm. And he just looked at me
and he said to me, “You know, I keep retainers
for guys like you, cuz.” I understand that talk. Alright? But what question prompted that? Uh, it was– it was him being cold. I used
to do this thing called The Freezer, and I was like, “You know, you’re ice cold
right now as a recording artist,” you know, It wasn’t so… Oh, this is, like– You have Donkey of the Day,
and then you also have– Yeah, but he was actually on
the show during the interview, and I told him he was cold,
in his face, like, you know. It wasn’t too “hot in here”
for his career at that point. Uh huh. At that point. Right. And I mean that with
the best intentions, Nelly! I still don’t want no problems
with you, okay? Alright? Did you end up apologizing? No, I didn’t apologize,
I just shut the hell up. You gotta know when to
shut the fuck up. That’s all. You don’t ever get scared? Like I get scared after the Saudi
Arabia thing. Like, I’m not tryna… Scared? Yeah! Like just off of– I mean, I’ve got anxiety so I’m always in
a constant state of fear so, I mean… I don’t know, I can’t really–
I guess it’s levels of fear. When you got anxiety everything seems
pretty, like, you’re about to die. But what volume are you at constantly?
Of anxiety. If it’s a zero to ten. – Where are you at?
– Ugh, man. I mean, a ten if I don’t talk to myself.
You know what I’m saying? If I don’t – if I don’t wake up in the morning
and read my daily affirmations, and meditate, and pray, and if I don’t go to therapy
once a week, and take my CBD– I’m always constantly–
I’m always constantly at a ten. But I mean come on, think
about the world we live in. You turn on the news,
everything is fearmongering. No, no, no. But the crazy thing is
that you wrote a book about this, and you’ve been very public about it. And
I’m gonna be honest. I’m gonna be 100% real. There’s black people here,
there’s South Asian people here, you know in our community–
my dad told me two things. He’s like, “That shit’s not real, you need to pray more.
And you need to go to sleep. And things will be better.” That’s honestly his thing. If you’ve
ever been like, “Oh, I’m depressed.” He’s like, “Just go to sleep and pray.” Because, that’s a survival tactic
for us in a lot of ways. Because, we’re always
constantly under the gun. So, the only thing we really should be
fearing, technically, is the white man, right? But– No, seriously! This is like – hey, no, I’m with it. Like,
let’s go Farrakhan, right now. As an oppressed, marginalized person– As an oppressed, marginalized person–
we got real stuff, like that, to deal with. So, everything else– Your parents
don’t wanna hear about that. They’re like, “Man, you better toughen up
because this world is gonna kick your ass.” Right. “So, don’t worry about that fake imaginary
guy under your bed. He’s not real.” So, but then, when did you go
like, “I need to do this.” Like, weren’t you afraid of getting, like–
not afraid of being made fun of– but, like, just kinda, like,
publicly talking about it. ’Cause I meditate and I do the whole thing,
but I try not to talk about it to certain people. I would think it’s the same with you becauseyou’re a comedian and I’m a radio personality. So, it’s hard to get onstage and
talk about anything but yourself. So, it’s very hard for me to get on the
radio and talk about everything else that’s going on in the world when
I’m dealing with my own issues. So, the easiest thing to do everyday when
you wake up in the morning is be yourself. So, for me it was just me getting on
the radio and sharing my experiences. And it makes you feel stronger because
you realize you’re not the only one. You have a tribe of people that
have the same type of anxiety. That deal with the same type of PTSD.
The same type of traumas. The same type of depression sometimes.
And for some strange reason, it makes you feel stronger knowing that you’ve
got a village of scared people behind you. Do you think we– Like, in our
generation we’ll talk about it more? (Yeah.) For real. (Absolutely.) We’ve got no choice. Can you talk about it with your parents? (Yeah.) You can be like, “Umi, I’m depressed.” (Yeah.) And she’ll take it seriously? – (Yeah).
– (No.) There, you– Thank you! What will she say? She’ll be like dua karo,
pray to God, yeah. Theek hai, you’re alright.” (Yeah, she’ll tell me to pray.) Yeah? (And Just like, get closer to God.) By the way, prayer works.
But so does therapy. (It does work.) Yeah. Yeah. It’s true. How many years have you been
publicly talking about this? Um, maybe, like, two? Maybe, like, two. And um, for me – Like, I realized
over Thanksgiving, my father shared with me
after he read my book– and I had a cousin that committed
suicide – he shared with me, that, you know, thirty-plus years ago
he tried to commit suicide, but he didn’t because of me
and my older sister. And he told me that he was going to
therapy two and three times a week, and that he had been on ten to twelve different
medications throughout his life, and he gets, actually, a check
for his mental health every month, for like,
the past twenty years. So, for me – I’m looking at him like, “Why
the hell are you just telling me this now?” Right. You know what I’m saying, if you had told me
this years ago then instead of packing– unpacking fortysomething years of baggage,
I would have been unpacking, like, twenty! Yeah. You know? So, it’s like– I don’t think we do ourselves any favors
by keeping secrets from each other. Didn’t you ever feel, like, at some
point, like, if I take something– Well, I’m not– I’m not– I don’t do medication.
Unless you call CBD medication. You know what I’m saying? Like, therapy has really worked for me. like just sitting down every week
and venting to somebody, which is crazy ’cause I feel like
I’m always venting on the radio, or on my podcast or something. But, actually sitting down
with somebody who– you know is a captive audience,
like, they have to listen to you… But you have a lot of people,
like, I don’t get that. No, they can turn the radio off. But once I pay you $150,
you there for me for that hour. You know what I’m saying? It’s a different feeling. Right, right, right. Where did– What’s the– Like,
did you go in with a goal? Yeah. For me, I was looking for,
like, this sense of peace that you tend to get when
you’re, like, on vacation. You know what I’m saying?
When you’re on vacation. For me, when I’m on vacation
and I got my wife with me and I got all my daughters
and, like, my mom’s there… Like, everybody I love and care for
that I constantly worry about when I– When we’re all in one place – it’s just, like,
this calmness, this peace, this serenity. And I’m like, “How do
I capture this all the time without having to spend all this
money on vacations constantly?” You know what I mean? ’Cause I only get,
like, six vacation weeks a year, so I– And what about the other,
you know, how ever many weeks? So, for me – my wife was just finally like, “Yo, go- just go to therapy. Go,
sit down, and talk to somebody.” So, I stopped flirting with
the idea and just went. And it was the best decision I ever made
in my life, you know what I mean? – Because I have learned–
– That’s beautiful. I have learned how to bring myself
back to center, you know? And I realized I’ve been doing that my whole
life – when you get those panic attacks. You know, those crazy feelings when you feel
like you’re about to have a heart attack and your heart is beating fast and
you’ve got shortness of breath. I used to always do these affirmations
in my head when I was younger. I used to always say,
“Fuck Satan,” three times. – And I used to say, uh–
– That was your “Candyman?” That was my thing. I’d do like, “Fuck Satan.
Fuck Satan. Fuck Satan.” Like, “I love…” ’Cause I– I grew up Jehovah’s Witness– So, I would say, “I love Jehovah God
and his son Jesus Christ. I love Jehovah God and
his son Jesus Christ.” And that would always
bring me back to center. So, now I’ve gotten other things
that bring me back to center, which is usually just, “Sit your
dumbass down. It’s not that serious.” “Take a few deep breathsand you’ll be okay.” That’s great, man. That’s beautiful, man. What made you– You recently asked that question that, you
know, a lot of people have been trying to ask, Elizabeth Warren – you just went for it. What made you go, “Alright, let’s
just take this on. Head on.” All the Native American stuff. Honestly, I’m just too dumb to know that
that was, like, a controversial question. Oh, that was a hu– That was a huge– I’m not a political pundit.
I’m not a, like, political journalist. I just thought it was weird
that she put ‘Native American’ on her applications
when she was young. Like, that– I didn’t think that
was gonna be such a big deal. I’m just like– I just wanted to know when
she found out she was Native American. Did it just ruin the whole lineage
of her family? Did her whole family find out right then and there that,
“we’re not Native American either?” Uh huh. I hadn’t– I… I– I don’t know. So, what was–
Do you believe– Did you believe the
answer she gave you? No. What do you mean? You thought that she did– You know, because she did say–
She was like, “This is what I was told.” So, how do you want to adjudicate this? Like, if I was told this twenty, thirty years ago
before the woke math was done on this, like… Listen, I was told I was like Teen Wolf in third
grade and I believed it for a little while. But that doesn’t mean I was
actually Teen Wolf. Like, I didn’t– After third grade I stopped
howling in the cafeteria. You know what I mean? What do you feel about… So, people come
on The Breakfast Club all the time. Your guys’ show, I would say
for the next eighteen months is going to be this critical destination– for the Democratic candidates. That’s where they go to check
in to the “urban community.” Yeah, yeah. How do you feel about that pandering? Um, I don’t know if it’s necessarily– – Do you believe it’s pandering?
– “pandering.” I don’t think it’s pandering,
I just think it’s go– Hillary going, “I got hot sauce in my bag?” On The Breakfast Club. I told– In the moment, I told her,
“you know…” Imagine Hillary coming on
this show and then she goes, “You know what I have? Karahi chicken,” and then she takes out
paratha and starts eating it. Yeah. I get– To me, I’d be like, “Hill, I know you hang out with
Huma, but, like, you’re not that South Asian.” I mean, listen – in the moment
I said that to her. I said, “This is one of those times they’re going
to say you’re pandering to black people.” But, there’s an old– I think it’s a 20/20 or 60 Minutes
interview where she actually said she had– – she keeps Tabasco on her all the time.
– Oh, so it’s consistent? Yeah. So, that’s why I wasn’t really trippin’
off it. You know what I’m saying? But I don’t think it’s pandering
only because– Hey, if I was trying to get a bunch
of black people to vote for me, I would go where I think
black people are at. – Like, that’s just common sense.
– That’s true. That’s true. When you like chicken,
you go to Chick-fil-A. What’d you think about the–
Kamala sayin’, “I didn’t…” You know, she was like, “I inhaled.” Oh, that was a–
that was a nice little pun. As a standup comedian, – you gotta appreciate that.
– Yeah, yeah the little callback. That’s a little callback to Bill Clinton
saying he didn’t, you know, inhale. Who the hell smokes weed
and doesn’t inhale? Now, I’m not going to lie to you. I do smoke weed all the time and don’t inhale
only because I have friends that smoke weed and sometimes when I just want to, like, act
like I’m high I’ll puff and just blow it out. I don’t inhale it either. But I don’t even fake-smoke it often! Just every now and then. Just when– Yeah, when we’re on vacation
or something. You know… I gotta do that. Uh, what do you think is the– I’ve fake-sniffed coke before, too. What? Yeah. Wait. I just like to make people feel comfortable
sometimes. You know what I’m saying? Like, what got you–
In what situation– Like, were you with Suge Knight and he was like,
“You need to do this for a record deal?” I forgot where we was at.
It might have been L.A. somewhere but you know, the coke be on the table
and you just, like, you do like this: You cover your nose like this and [woosh]
but you knock it off with your hand. That’s good. You knock it off with your hand but you
gotta let a little, just, be here somewhere. Yeah, yeah. That’s all. And then you just scream: “WOOO!” That’s great, man. Then everybody gets comfortable,
you know what I’m saying? That’s all. That’s great. Alright, how am I going
to transition to this? What topic, uh– What do you think is the
most important topic/policy that 2020 candidates need to address? Oh… Um… I think– You know, it’s interesting, right? ’Cause, you know, we talk about policies
and we talk about legislation but the truth of the matter is – I think
the whole country needs a reset when it comes to morals and values and just
us getting back to respecting each other and loving each other. ‘Cause we are
the United States of America. But right now, it feels like
the divided states of America. So, I don’t know if policy and
legislation is important as just restoring the soul
of the country, so-to-speak. What do you mean by that? You’re
talking about, just, empathy in general? Yeah– Just in general. I’m talking about
the basic principles of, just, life. Like, you know: “Do unto others as
you would have them do unto you.” “Be a good person.” “Treat people the way you
want to be treated.” Like, don’t look down upon people. Like, we
gotta get back to liberty and justice for all. Like, we gotta get back to this,
this promise of equality, that America offered everyone. That enabled, you know,
you to be here – doing what you’re doing.
– Totally. And me being on stage with you,
like, we gotta get back to that, ’cause I feel like, we’re going backwards with
a lot of, just, morality in this country. So, yo, I can easily say, “Yeah, we need more jobs.
You know, we need to get the economy booming. You know, we need to invest
more money into HBCUs. We need, you know,
better healthcare for all.” You know, I think that we need to be addressing
the black maternal death rate, you know, ’cause that was something that I saw
firsthand when my third daughter was born last year and I’m a brother who– I’m doing pretty good in life.
You know what I’m saying? These shoes aren’t cheap. – You know what I mean?
– Right. And I got insurance, but when we went to the
hospital last year for my daughter to be born, they didn’t even have epidurals.
You know what I’m saying? – Wow.
– Like, it was almost just, like, a thing of: “Oh, she’s a black woman, she’s strong.
She can handle it. You–” – I’m like–
– Are you serious? Yeah. So, it’s just, like– I feel, like, those are the issues that, you know,
a lot of those issues need to be addressed. But, I just think that overall, we just need to
get back to, just, lovin’ on each other more. But you’ve been–
You’ve always been– The years that we’ve known each other– you’re a rare dude. You’ve always been, kind of,
above identity politics. Mm hmm. What I mean by that is that you’ve even
told me in conversations– You’ve been like, “Man, I honestly… I don’t
really see race. I mix with everybody.” You’re a true, like, artist. I see energy. Yeah. You know, but, I’m very aware. But that’s not how people
move in the world. – Yeah, yeah, yeah.
– Do you know what I mean? The world is actually incredibly segregated
in terms of class and all that stuff, so… I’ve had this conversation
with my dad all the time, “How do you get people to care
about things outside of their POV?” We have, like, an empathy tank that,
we can only take so much. Like, we did an episode on Sudan,
like, two weeks ago. One of the big things that we had in
the writer’s room was just like, “How do you get people to
give a fuck about Sudan?” I mean it’s ’cause it’s easy to– It’s easy to turn a blind eye
to stuff like that. Right. I mean, think about it. We live in America where
you have grave injustices everyday – Right, right.
– and people turn a blind eye to those, so why are you gonna care about what’s
going on in a whole ’nother country? Here. This is an audience question
that was submitted before: “What would your slogan be
if you ran for president?” What would my slogan be
if I ran for president? Hmm. Maybe “live your truth.” So, nobody can use your
truth against you. Right? And, maybe, it would be laws implemented
that when somebody is living their truth, we can’t use it against them. Meaning, that– Hey, if you’re gay–
be gay. You know? If you’re transgender, transexual–
be transgender or transexual. If you’re a proud black person–
be a proud black person. And it would be against the law for
somebody to hate on you for that fact. You know what I’m saying? Alright. One last question for Charlamagne
and then we gotta go. Here we go, right there. Yeah. (If you two were to play Desus and Mero
in basketball, who would win?) If we played Desus and Mero in basketball?
Are you good at basketball? Are you decent? No, but I think I can bust
Desus and Mero’s ass. In basketball. At this– Mero would be too slow. I’d put Mero on me. I think
I’d go around him every time. I’m at that age, I mean, I’m 33. We’re at
that age now where, just, effort will– Just effort and being in shape
in general puts you in the– Absolutely. Do you know what I mean? It just puts
you in the upper echelon. That was a very classy way to say
Desus and Mero are out of shape. Very classy way. Thank you. One more time for
Charlamagne tha God. Thank you, guys, so much. Good night! One more time for Charlamagne.
hey guys it’s Kristin so today I’m going to show you how to make this cousin it trick-or-treat bag for this project you’ll need a plastic halloween container a top hat …
hey guys it’s Kristin so today I’m going to show you how to make this cousin it trick-or-treat bag for this project you’ll need a plastic halloween container a top hat some light colored tape and scissors and then you’ll need some tan colored yarn some sunglasses and a glue gun the first thing I’m gonna do is cut the top part of the top hat so we’re just going to take some scissors and you’re gonna go around the entire top of the Hat just cutting the center part out make sure that when you’re cutting this that you are leaving a little bit of an edge approximately a quarter to a half an inch if you cut it right on the edge you’ll be able to see that there’s a hole cut out from a distance next we’re going to cut the plastic handle off of your container because we’re going to end up doing is putting some yarn or rope through that instead so i braided some tan yarn the same yarn i’m going to use for the hair and now is placing that through the hole once that’s pulled through I’m gonna tie a knot just make sure it’s big enough that it won’t come through the hole and just do the same thing for the other side so now we’re gonna get the yarn ready to make all the hair so we’re going to do is take the yarn in her hand and we’re just going to wrap it under elbow back to our hand and you’re just going to make a bunch of loops on you are going to need approximately a hundred of these but i do recommend doing 50 at a time because it will start getting really tight and very hard to manage on let’s just start by wrapping this around 50 times and then i’ll show you what we’re gonna do next once you’re done with about 50 should look like this we are going to need to do this four times so what we’re gonna be doing is two layers and you need to do front and facts so there’s going to be a layer on the bottom front bottom back and then top front top back once you have your yarn we’re going to cut just one end and then you’re just going to stretch it out now you need to start breaking the yarn apart because we wanted to look like strands of hair so just make sure they’re all spread out then you’re going to take some of your light color tape and you’re going to tape it halfway down so you don’t want the yarn to be at the top of the tape just about halfway down as you can see here on then i’m going to press it on the other side as well so that we don’t have any loose strands that fall off then you’re going to start overlapping your second layer on top of that so a little bit closer to the edge but this is to make it a little bit thicker so you don’t see the container underneath you’re going to place this first set of yarn about halfway down the bucket on the front or back it doesn’t really matter but it’s going to go approximately halfway around then we’re going to rotate the bucket and we’re going to place the next one on the back side also in the middle so we just want to get a really good base going you’re going to repeat this process for the top layer make sure the top layer is high enough up that the tape can be hidden by the top hat when you’re done this is what your cousin it bucket should look like now we’re going to use the hot glue gun to attach the hat to our bucket just work very quickly because the glue will dry very fast once you set it on the head just push down firmly for a few seconds to make sure that it really sticks to the bucket next we’re going to mark the bucket where the sunglasses should line up so I just put a mark on each end of the sunglasses then we’re going to take a knife or some people have used a drill we’re gonna make a hole so that the sunglasses will fit inside of the bucket if you’re using a knife please be careful you don’t cut yourself now you’re just going to stick the sunglasses inside those holes so that it stays put if you don’t want to go that route you can always just glue them right to the bucket as well and that’s pretty much all there is to it I’m you can see here the yarn is very long which is suitable for an adult but this is going to be for my daughter and she’s a lot shorter so you may have to trim the yarn to fit the person that it’s for here’s my daughter dressed up as Wednesday Addams with her cousin it trick-or-treat bucket thanks for watching this video if you liked it please give me a thumbs up and don’t forget to subscribe so you can see the next tutorial thanks for checking out my channel and watching this video you want to see what I’m gonna post next don’t forget to subscribe below
>>MR. LEWIS >>THANK YOU FOR COMING IN WITH YOUR ASSOCIATES. I KNOW THIS IS HARD TO HEAR BUT WE NEED TO MAKE SOME SERIOUS DECISIONS ABOUT YOUR MOTHER’S HEALTH. LET’S BE …
>>THANK YOU FOR COMING IN WITH
I KNOW THIS IS HARD TO HEAR BUT
WE NEED TO MAKE SOME SERIOUS
DECISIONS ABOUT YOUR MOTHER’S
LET’S BE HONEST, SHE IS GETTING
ON IN YEARS.
OKAY, I SEE HOW IT IS.
I SEE HOW IT IS.
WELL YOUR MAMA SO OLD HER LAST
NAME IS OSAURUS.
>>NO, IT WASN’T AN INSULT.
I’M JUST SAYING YOUR MOTHER’S
CONDITION IS DETERIORATING.
>>OKAY, THAT’S A COLD ONE.
I SEE HOW IT IS.
OKAY, YOUR MAMA SO OLD IN HER
HISTORY CLASS THEY JUST WROTE
DOWN WHAT THEY WERE DOING.
>>MR. LEWIS, THIS ISN’T AN
NOT ONLY YOUR MOTHER ELDERLY BUT
ALSO HER ABILITY TO WALK IS
CURRENTLY BEING AFFECT WILL BY
>>OH, SEE, OKAY.
IT JUST GOT REAL.
>>NO, I’M NOT INSULTING HER I’M
TRYING TO TELL YOU —
>>YOUR MAMA IS SO FAT WHEN SHE
GO TO THE MOVIE THEATRE THEY
MOVE OUT OF HER WAY.
>>YOUR MOTHER NEEDS TO MANAGE
HER WEIGHT OR THERE CAN BE SOME
ALL RIGHT, YEAH, YEAH.
YOUR MA IS SO FAT SHE NEEDS A
LOT LATITUDE AND LONGITUDE.
>>WE ARE TALKING ABOUT A WOMAN
WHO TOOK CARE OF HER AT LEAST
YOU CAN TAKE OF HER IN HER OLD
AGE AND TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY.
>>I’M SORRY I LOST MY TEMPER.
>>NO, REALLY, DOCTOR, I GUESS I
WAS JUST JOKING AROUND BECAUSE I
KNOW HER CONDITION IS REALLY
SERIOUS AND I DON’T KNOW — I
GUESS HUMOR IS THE ONLY WAY I
CAN REALLY DEAL WITH IT.
I JUST KNOW THAT SHE SAID SO
MANY TIMES SHE DOESN’T WANT
ANYTHING INVASIVE DONE.
>>REALLY, I WAS NOT AWARE.
THAT’S INTERESTING BECAUSE SHE
DID NOT MENTION THAT TO ME IN
OUR PREVIOUS CONVERSATION.
OF COURSE IT WAS DIFFICULT TO
HEAR HER WITH MY [BLEEP] IN HER
[ SILENCE ]
>>SNAP, MR. LEWIS.
NOW, LET’S TALK ABOUT THE
>>HELLO EVERYBODY OUT THERE
– [Audience] Quinta versus the ex! (hip hop music) (door slamming) – What’s wrong with you? Oh! – Kidding me? What do you mean, hi? – Yeah. – Ah! (exasperated sound) …
– [Audience] Quinta versus the ex! (hip hop music) (door slamming) – What’s wrong with you? Oh! – Kidding me? What do you mean, hi? – Yeah. – Ah! (exasperated sound) Like I’m some kind of punk bitch? Like (censor beep) you
just pop back into my life whenever you want to
after what you did to me? I don’t think so. – Yeah that is unacceptable. – It is 11:45. The nerve! Who said you could text me
in the (censor beep) morning? – No he is obnoxious. – It’s just disrespectful. I am working. – You should be. – You know what? He probably saw me on Instagram. Saw I got my hair braided. I had on a new little jumpsuit. Posted a picture the other day. It was fire! – Yeah. – Probably was like let me
get in there and mess that up. Say something to her and ruin her day. – Yeah I bet most likely that
is exactly what he’s saying. – This (censor beep). – That (censor beep). – This (censor beep). I went to lunch with Samuel the other day. – Mm-hm. – And I posted a picture of it. It was real cute. We look like a beautiful
black couple in love. He probably got mad, and was like let me go in
there and mess things up. Mess their relationship up. Make them argue. Make things fall apart. – You’re going to get in a
fight with Samuel over this? – No Kate. I’m just saying that’s
probably what he wanted. (phone ringing)
Here’s Samuel now. Hey baby. You left in on the stove Samuel, not me! You left in on the stove Samuel! No it was you! I am at work! Don’t call me while I’m at
work and say these things! We will discuss it when I get home. – Maybe just text him back, buddy. – Kate. And give him the satisfaction
of hearing from me? C’mon. Use your brain for like a millisecond. – Okay. You know I’m new to all this ex stuff. – Damn. I know what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna text his ass back. Hold up. – Yeah Quinta, that’ll show him. – I know right? Okay I need to say something that’s like, I’m that bitch. But you better not call me a bitch, or else I’m a slide you like you a bitch. – Maybe just like, hi. Ow. – Smart, okay. Hi. (outgoing text message) That’ll show him. – Yeah. (incoming text message) Look at him pressed. Texting back already. Don’t you have some work to do? I feel like you have something to do. Are you her manager? – How’s your first day going? Good? – [Audience] Quinta versus water! (hip hop music) – Dear God. – It’s unbearable. The summer’s over. What the (censor beep)? – I don’t know. But I’m gonna get some more
coffee from the kitchen. Do you want anything? – No I’m good. But hey babe? – Yeah? – Now I don’t want to tell
you how to live your life. – Nope if I want to watch
a seven hour marathon of Naked and Afraid that’s what I’m a do. And you need to support
me because you’re my man. – But don’t you think you should be getting some water instead of coffee? – Hm? – You don’t drink enough water. I never see you drink it. (string music) – [Quinta] I can’t clean the microwave because I can’t reach the microwave. (indistinct chatter) Man I’m thirsty. – Here have some of my water. – That’s okay. That (censor beep)’s wack. I think I’m gonna have some Hennessy. I keep some in the back for rainy days… (indistinct chatter) Look I get enough water, okay? There’s water in everything. Fruits, veggies, Milky Way bars… – Not enough. – Gosh! The less water I have the more
there is for people in need. – Nope! – You a hater, dog. – Don’t call me dog. – I don’t drink bitch ass water everyday, and I’m fine. I bagged you didn’t I? – Just drink it. What’s the problem? – It has no taste! It’s flavorless juice! It mocks me with it’s clearness! I don’t like it. It’s annoying. – Quinta. Here drink the water. I’m doing this for you. It’s good for you. I can’t believe I have to say
this to a 27 year old woman. – Fine! Give me the water. I’ll drink it. Okay? God Jesus. It burns! – Just drink it, it doesn’t burn. (Quinta crying out) (gulping) Ah! Woo! That was crazy baby. Did you see that? – I did. I’m so proud of you. I’m gonna get you another one. – Hold up. Take it easy, baby steps. But if you could get me
one glass of Hennessy. And some coffee. That’d be great. Maybe some melted butter too. You’re so encouragin’! (Sighs) Thank you baby. I don’t know what I’d do without you. – [Audience] Quinta versus curb! (hip hop music) – It’s like you’re not a bill collector. You’re a student debt collector. You don’t really have any power. So I told him that – (thumping sound) (Kate laughing) – Are you okay? – I’m fine. – Oh my God! You really took a stumble! – Yeah whatever. So anyways I said you’ll see
my money when I see my degree. – Nice. Good burn. Hey remember when you fell down? – [Quinta] Shut up. (dramatic string music) – Oh my God! (laughing) You fell! (mumbling) You fell! (laughing) – [Curb] Me first. I didn’t mean to trip you. I didn’t want to do that. My want is simple. My want is to exist. – I’m sorry. You remember tripping me? And you talk? – [Curb] Of course. I have nothing to think about all day besides the things that I see. Or the people I’ve tripped. You were one of three today. And I remember your shoes. – Okay well yes you tripped me. And I remember that too. And since you can talk I’d like – – [Curb] An apology. – I guess. – [Curb] Quinta. – How do you know my name? – [Curb] It says it on your underwear. Quinta if you’d like an apology from me, a curb, I’ll give you one. But consider this. Perhaps what you’re most upset about is that I’ve reminded you
of your own mortality. Reminded you that even on your best days something can go wrong. And that your limbs, your precious limbs, and the skills that you’ve had
walking since two years old, can betray you. What I think I remind you of most of all is that you are imperfect. Head up sweet human. This shouldn’t make you sad. I am perfect. – ‘Kay. – [Curb] But I cannot move. I cannot feel. I can not. – You’re… – [Curb] Stuck. – Hm. I guess what you’re saying is that I should accept my imperfections. That they make me human and still alive. – [Curb] Precisely. – That’s some good advice curb. You have anymore wise words? Since we’re here talking. – [Curb] Yes. Stop falling asleep with Netflix on. Your dreams become very odd. – Huh? Ow. So human. (hip hop music)