
The worse toenail (Take care of your feet )
This case is just a slight case.(Sorry, but I was totally wrong.) 50% finished! 80%… Hurts? 99%… Just a little bit more. It was deep. Ok,done Me:See? Her: Not long but …
Treatment & Medication Options
This case is just a slight case.(Sorry, but I was totally wrong.) 50% finished! 80%… Hurts? 99%… Just a little bit more. It was deep. Ok,done Me:See? Her: Not long but …
This case is just a slight case.(Sorry, but I was totally wrong.) 50% finished! 80%… Hurts? 99%… Just a little bit more. It was deep. Ok,done Me:See? Her: Not long but thick. OK… Me:This was a little bit seriously. Her: Right, I though there was something inside. A little bit more. Uncomfortable here? There was nothing left inside. Pops it later Ok……. Much better? Done already! See here.It is special. Let me explain to you. After I clean the feet. There was a nail inside the toe. How careless you are! Her: So big? I am also angry at this Why do not care of your own body? It was totally insert into the toe. Me: Much better? Her: Yes it was good.
I am Neelam Agarwal my age is sixty-two years I was suffering from osteoarthritis of both the knees and was suffering from some sort of you know nagging pain all the …
I am Neelam Agarwal my age is sixty-two years I was suffering from osteoarthritis of both the knees and was suffering from
some sort of you know nagging pain all the time like when I used to walk when I
used to sleep even by sleeping I was getting this pain so my occupation
suggested total knee replacement for which I was not mentally ready so I
thought of finding some alternative treatments and I came to know about doctor bharti. dr. bharti’s holistic I have seen many times I did in newspapers and all
so I contacted this Noida Center and started my treatment here during my
treatment I have undergone this corrective metabolism also and plus
weight reduction and through this treatment in a week or so I got relief
in my pain and after this undergoing this treatment I am finding that I’m
much like on my knees now and is feeling much much better
I can walk easily which I never used to do when I was suffering
this way my you know gate actually has become sort of tilted one like I used to
you know very type of gate I used to have which has it proved almost 100% and
I can both straight and I am feeling much change in the shape of my legs my
knee is deputy so overall I found
[MUSIC] One banana for breakfast, 90 calories. Lettuce salad and half of piece of bread for lunch, 300 calories. Cucumber salad for dinner, 80 calories, total, 470 calories. That was it …
[MUSIC] One banana for breakfast, 90 calories. Lettuce salad and half of piece
of bread for lunch, 300 calories. Cucumber salad for dinner, 80 calories, total, 470 calories. That was it for the day. I spent the most of my middle school
dealing with an eating disorder. It started from an article I
read about tracking your eating. Write down everything you’ve eaten, and
the guilt it creates induces you to eat less, and less, and less. Every week I lost a pound, and
this lasted for about six months. It started during my second year
at a boarding school in the UK. I was a child with
an extremely low self-esteem. If you were to meet me then, you would
have seen the smallest girl in the class, who couldn’t speak fluent English,
always hanging out by herself, or with a very few friends. Accomplishing my goals and
diet gave me confidence and hope, that I could become my
ideal self with enough effort. Living in a boarding school helped
me hide my diet from everyone. The Boarding Mistress was taking
attendance outside of the canteen every day, to make sure we all ate. So I showed up for the attendance, picked
up an apple, and went back to my room. I enjoyed being in full
control of my weight. I didn’t realize I was entering
a bottomless swamp until it was too late. I still remember the fear I felt
when I saw the shower drain filled with my own hair,
that had started to fall off excessively. I didn’t know, then, that the interruption
in my menstrual cycle was a bigger issue. I didn’t know how to let go of my diet. And my family’s decision was to take care
of me at home, instead of using therapies. The mere idea of having to ask for
help made me feel ashamed. My family was horrified, though. My mother made every sacrifice and effort. She even flew back to Japan with me,
so that I could focus on studies, friends, anything other
than restricting food. We suffered through without
sharing it with anyone. Research by Stanford Medical School shows
that with only six months of family therapies, 80% of adolescence
anorexia can be reduced. For me, it took three years to
recover fully, but I was still lucky. Adolescence anorexia can lead to
problems in hormone imbalance, bone development, heart disease, brain
damage, and many other complications. 40% of anorexia are chronic. They come back again. And suicide attempts after
anorexia can be up to 20%. As I spoke with my Stanford classmates,
who have gone through similar experience, and successfully recovered
through therapies, I started to realize that it doesn’t
necessarily have to be this way. And I started wondering what was causing
the shame, the shame that I was feeling. Jan Si,
at Stanford Neuroscience Institute, and many other psychologists define shame
as a self conscious feeling we feel, when we think we have done
something bad or wrong. It is similar to guilt in
the way that it’s generated, when we don’t meet our standards or norms. Whether we care more about how other
people see us and feel ashamed, or we care more about how we
feel about ourselves and feel guilt,
is dependent on culture context. But the root cause is the same. We think we have done something bad or
wrong. And for some of us,
the mere idea of going to a therapy and seeking help causes this feeling of shame. Seeking help is bad because
it’s a show of weakness. But, would you consider someone
going to a gym as physically weak? We have no problem getting a trainer, and
a self-assessment, and planning a workout. So how is improving their mental
health through therapies so different from improving their
physical health through a gym? I witnessed a similar sense of shame
at my first apartment in Tokyo. I heard this strange knocking noise
[SOUND] from the floor above, every night from around ten. [SOUND] At first,
I thought the family above us was using some sort of fitness machine,
and made a complaint. [SOUND] The noise went away for
a few days, but it came back again. [SOUND] So one night,
I decided to go up and confront the family myself. I was getting really annoyed. As I approached their entrance, I heard this girl’s weeping
voice leaking out of their door. I still knocked, and I realized
that the source of the noise was their oldest girl hitting
on their living room wall. She had develop a symptom of autism a year into the top rank
elementary school in Japan. The family was trying to take care of the
daughter themselves, just like my family. I’ve had problems, too. I think you can ask for help. How I wish I could have
said that on the spot. Instead, all I did was, I said that I acknowledged the situation,
and walked off. And to this date, it is my biggest regret. I wonder how much pain
I could have removed, if I could tell them about my own story. And make them realize that their problems
didn’t mean there was something uniquely wrong with them. I wonder how supportive I could have been, if I could explain to them that seeking
help is nothing to be ashamed of. Do you remember your first day at the GSP? We were told that nearly half
of the MBA students go and visit the on campus therapy
during their two years. This surprised me, and it comforted me. If I have a problem again,
I can ask for help. But I know how hard it is,
as you’re entering that bottomless swamp, to take step back and seek for help. This is why I want you to be there,
open and supportive, when your family and friends are in need of help. If you’re having an experience
in dealing with mental issues, I want you to share your story
with your family and friends. Sharing can remove the stigma
associated with disclosure. I want you to learn about
the services around you. If you’re a Stanford student,
you can use the on campus therapy for free, because it’s already covered by
the campus health fee we’re all paying.>>[LAUGH]
>>At Stanford, it is seen okay, or it’s even encouraged to seek for
help when we’re having problems. But in many other places,
this is not the case. Look back at your own community. Was your family, your friends, or even your employer, open to the idea
of seeking help for mental issues? If not, I want you to join me
in becoming the first supporter of seeking help in your community. I want you to open the people’s
mind to the fact that seeking help is nothing special,
it’s just like going to the gym. Thank you.>>[APPLAUSE] [MUSIC]
– [Voiceover] I knew growing up that I wanted a career that involved horses. From the moment I was born, my mother, she’d bring me down to the burn. I had …
– [Voiceover] I knew
growing up that I wanted a career that involved horses. From the moment I was born, my mother, she’d bring
me down to the burn. I had my own pony that
I would ride around on, and she would call him the babysitter because she’d just put me on him and he would just roam
around the arena with me. My first horse show was
when I was 17 months and I was showing that pony. His name was Peter. We come from a horsey family so I was always involved in the burn. I took two years of a business degree. I realised that it was not for me, that I couldn’t see
myself sitting in a desk. I heard about the therapeutic
recreation program at NSCC Marconi Campus. I applied, got accepted, and
I ended up switching schools. (gentle orchestral music) While at NSCC, we had the opportunity to do a work placement. I did mine at a local guest home working with people who have disabilities, and that’s when I met Ed. Four years ago, when Ed
first started riding, he needed five people walking beside the horse with him. Now, four years later, it is just me walking beside the horse with him. (gentle orchestral music) Seeing Ed improve so much
had such an impact on my life and proves to me that therapeutic
riding does help people physically, emotionally, socially. (gentle orchestral music) In my opinion, one of the best benefits to therapeutic riding is self-esteem. Where I am right now in life I would never have dreamt
that I would be able to have this job, to be able to spend numerous
hours here at the burn but also help people. That’s something I
really, really love to do, and the more I do it, the more I love it. My education enabled me to
have a career with horses, and was something that
I always wanted to do and now I’m able to do it. (piano music)
– Taking antidepressants is like more chill than taking like Flonase or like Aspirin, like honestly. – Yeah, it’s like people are so afraid of antidepressants and they fully like rip …
– Taking antidepressants
is like more chill than taking like Flonase or
like Aspirin, like honestly. – Yeah, it’s like people are
so afraid of antidepressants and they fully like
rip cocaine at parties. Hi, I’m Rose Surnow and I’m mentally ill, but don’t worry, I’m medicated. Today on Inside Intimacy,
we talk depression. – Other than Kanye, everyone
has to take your meds. – That’s hilarious. – I think because my mom
was like a Russian immigrant with a very hard life, I couldn’t really explain my problems without her putting it on a graph of like, well, this is not a big deal. – Yeah, you weren’t, like,
fleeing the Cossacks. – Yes, exactly. – Do you have any experience
with mental health issues? – Depression and anxiety. – So mainly depression and anxiety. – I do, I struggle with both actually. – Hi, I’m Beowulf Jones, America’s sweetheart, bipolar Canadian. – Yeah, baby. – I have definitely
suffered from depression for a lot of my life,
especially my younger years, just from past trauma
that I couldn’t heal. – I went through a really bad breakup and then I went through, I slipped into a depression that lasted a good six to eight months, and I didn’t think I
would ever come out of it. – I’ve been diagnosed bipolar. At first they thought it
was chronic depression because I was cripplingly
depressed half the time, but the other time I felt great. – I wasn’t having any fun. It felt like I was in a
little room with a window, where I could see all
my friends hanging out outside of the window and they’re like, come on, hang out with us. I’m like, I can’t. I’m in this room with no door and I can, like, see
you guys, but it sucks. – Low interest in socializing,
eating, sleeping a lot, highly emotional, you know, crying, not being engaged in anything. You know, kind of feeling like there was this dark cloud kind
of like spraying over you. – Not being able to sleep, and then being up at 6:00 and then feeling like
I have nothing to do. There was nothing I could find comfort in. – I was just very difficult to be around. I guess I felt I had no confidence, so I was trying to prove that
I was better than people. – I just felt so short of breath. Like I just felt like there was a hand on my throat at all times. – Like a claustrophobic feeling. My chest gets really tight and then, it’s just hard for me to breathe. I need to sit down definitely. – One time I was having a panic attack and I knocked on my roommate’s
door at one in the morning. I was like, “Hey, is it
cool if I sleep in here “because I think if I fall
asleep, I’m going to die.” He was like, “Yeah,
man, you could totally, “like you’re not gonna die, “like you can totally just sleep in here “if you want, man, you’re good.” – He sounds like such a sweet guy. – He is a very sweet man, yeah. – After I had my first ever panic attack, I remember, like, looking in the mirror and being like, “Wow, I
can’t believe I didn’t “cry off this mascara.”
Like, so impressed. – You killed your first panic attack. – Yeah, I did, and came out looking as beautiful as I went in. – I make things, like, I make short films and I like to do that to
keep creatively motivated. I was like what if, like,
I’d make a short film where I try to kill myself and fail. It’s a comedy. – You’re like, “Ha, ha, ha, help!” – When I was 21, I was dating a therapist and after years of no one
knowing what to do with me, she diagnosed me in like two minutes. – And how did you feel being diagnosed? – I felt great! I felt like there was an
answer for why I was different, for why my behavior was so erratic, it wasn’t just ’cause I was a jerk. – I took a year off in my
junior year for my mental health and everyone thought I studied abroad. So they’re like, “How
was studying abroad?” I was like, “At my parents house?” I just like, laughed it off, I said, yeah, it was super memorable. – I got on meds when I was
19, that’s a long time ago. It wasn’t as common, so I didn’t know that many people on meds, so I was really scared
when I first got on them. – Yeah, I mean, I was scared
before getting on meds. That it would destroy my sex life, it would destroy my art, it would make me like, a
numb, shut down zombie, who was a gray corporate drone, who couldn’t feel feelings. And like, the total opposite happened. Really, it brought me back
to who I feel I really am. – I mean, that’s exactly how I feel. – Yeah. – Just the stigma around it is like, you take them and then
you’ve got no emotion, and you’re just a zombie walking around, and you’ve failed at life, that’s why you have to
take antidepressants. But that’s very far from the truth. – People who are anti-meds
who think that you can do diet and lifestyle hacks to
improve your depression, I was a spin teacher. I was a yoga teacher. I was vegan. I was vegetarian. I was gluten free. I did all the things,
and I was the most fit, unhappy, depressed person you’ve ever met. – So was there ever anyone in your life who was kind of like, pressuring
you not to take medication? – Yes, my girlfriend was
very anti-medication. I think she just was like, look you need to try all
of the natural options before you try medication. – And what was your response? – Uh, I’m losing my mind,
I need to try medication. – I’m sure you’re girlfriend is amazing, and she loves you and you love her, and everyone has their little blind spots, but my issue with that is like, a person who doesn’t
have clinical depression really doesn’t need to tell me what I should be doing
with my mental health. – There were some, you know, side effects that I wasn’t quite happy with. – Sexual side effects? – Yeah, so… – Were you on Lexapro? – I was on Lexapro. – Yeah, it’s a killer. I mean, I’m on it, but it’s hard. – I just couldn’t manage with it, so I tried to just do it on my
own, which has been helpful. I mean, I go to groups and
I have a therapist ongoing, and so that seems to be helping. I think the benefits
for me, is just kind of, feeling like I exist in the world again. I have friends who don’t
know how to function just yet and still suffer through it, because they aren’t taking meds, they aren’t seeing a therapist. – If I had have had this ten years ago, I don’t even know how my
life would be different. And so, that’s why it’s important
for me to talk about it. For 25 year old Megan, who was like, binge drinking and in bad relationships, and just couldn’t see that
the world didn’t hate her. It was her head, you know? – I always say, I’m like a really happy, fun person with depression. Like when I’m medicated, when I’m doing what I need
to do, my life is awesome. I’m really positive. – Totally, yeah. – This is how I’m supposed to be. – So what I love about today is like, it’s not taboo to talk about this stuff. Like, I have a coworker who
will still whisper like, “I have to leave to go see my therapist.” I’m like, that’s like going
to see your dermatologist. You’re a human, who has moods. – Yeah, I love this Jenny. – And you need help. We aren’t born with these tools, we have to be shown it
through other people. – I don’t think people should whisper their mental health problems. I think they should scream them, because if you’re finding
something helpful, I almost think it’s your responsibility to let other people know, because so many people suffer silently. – The thing that has helped
me the most is therapy. Not just talking therapy, but
also hypnosis and meditation. – Cool. – And of course, the meds. They don’t do all the work, they just level the playing field, so you can deal with
your real world problems. They don’t magically
make everything better, but they’ve made me stable and I love being stable, it’s great. – I love being stable too!
– Yay! – Do you have any advice for people with anxiety
if they’re watching? – I wish I did, but I also think I’m
still figuring that out, so if anyone else does. I’ll watch this video when it comes outs, and then like, oh, yeah,
okay, got it, I’ll do that. – I just wanted to thank you
for talking about this topic, and I hope people hear
other people’s experiences and know that they’re not alone. – Thanks, Jenny, I really appreciate it. – Thank you. – If your anxiety and
depression was a type of sushi, what would it be? – It would probably be like, a loaded, way too many sauces, like oven baked, fried, terrible monster. That’s what my depression is, I think.
– YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T DO HALLOWEEN IN ENGLAND. – IT’S KIND OF CATCHING ON NOW, BUT WHEN I WAS A KID, IT WAS REALLY NOT BIG FOR WHATEVER REASON. YEAH, I …
– YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T
DO HALLOWEEN IN ENGLAND. – IT’S KIND OF CATCHING ON NOW,
BUT WHEN I WAS A KID, IT WAS REALLY NOT BIG
FOR WHATEVER REASON. YEAH, I MEAN, I’VE NEVER BEEN
TRICK OR TREATING IN MY LIFE, WHICH IS A FACT THAT SORT
OF AMAZES A LOT OF PEOPLE, AND I THINK I’M PROBABLY
MAYBE MISSING OUT A LITTLE BIT. THAT WAS LIKE A LITTLE “OH.”
– YEAH, THEY FEEL BAD FOR YOU. DID YOU KNOW
YOU WERE MISSING OUT? DID YOU KNOW
THAT KIDS GOT CANDY, AND YOU THOUGHT,
“OH, I DON’T GET CANDY”? – NO, I GUESS NOT. LIKE, I MEAN,
I GOT CANDY AS A KID. I JUST DIDN’T, LIKE,
GO DOOR TO DOOR FOR IT, I GUESS. I DON’T KNOW. BUT THAT STUFF
DOES SOUND FUN, SO MAYBE–AGAIN, I THINK
IF I STARTED TO DOING IT NOW IT WOULD BE ODD. THE ONE HALLOWEEN PARTY
I WENT TO WHEN I WAS VERY YOUNG I BELIEVE I GAVE YOU
A PHOTO OF, WHICH IS–‘CAUSE I WENT
AS KEITH FLINT FROM THE BAND PRODIGY,
WHEN I WAS, LIKE, SIX YEARS OLD. SO THAT’S ME
IN A SPIDERMAN COSTUME, WHICH I HAD RIPPED UP TO– – THAT’S ADORABLE.
– KIND OF PUNKY THING. THEN I GOT–
YOU CAN’T SEE HIM THERE. YEAH, YEAH,
THAT’S THE REAL KEITH THEN. THAT WAS, LIKE,
WHO, AT SEVEN YEARS OLD, I WAS LIKE,
“I WANT TO BE THAT GUY.” – WOW, YOU WERE VERY DARK
AT SEVEN. – I GUESS, YEAH.
SURPRISINGLY. I GOT LITTLE FAKE NOSE PIERCINGS
AS WELL. IT WAS AWESOME.
– THAT’S ADORABLE. – AND YOU MUST SEE PEOPLE,
THOUGH–OR– WELL, YOU DON’T, ‘CAUSE
YOU’RE NOT TRICK OR TREATING, BUT THEY’RE HARRY POTTER. YOU MUST SEE LOTS
OF HARRY POTTERS. – YEAH, NO,
IN THE NEW YORK PARADE, THERE’S A LOT,
AND THERE’S SOME– IT’S ALWAYS–YEAH,
IT’S ALWAYS FUNNY TO SEE. BUT I THINK THAT’S KIND OF–
THAT’S THE DEFINITION OF SUCCESS FOR A FILM LIKE THAT, IS, LIKE, HOW MANY PEOPLE
ARE BEING YOU AT HALLOWEEN. – EXACTLY.
– SIMILAR TO “HORNS.” LIKE, NEXT YEAR, I’M HOPING
THAT THERE’S, LIKE– THERE’S LOADS OF IGS HERE.
– [Heather] I lost several family members, and I consequentially lost my job because I went to too many funerals. And I was just kind of a mess. I knew I …
– [Heather] I lost several family members, and I consequentially lost my job because I went to too many funerals. And I was just kind of a mess. I knew I couldn’t function as a counselor ’cause I needed to take
time for myself to heal. I took a year or so, and I
called it getting back to basics. If it was gonna stress
me out, I didn’t do it. And I heard about Ride for Joy. I had never heard about therapeutic
horseback riding before. So, I was like, perfect. I will just go ride some horses. It’s all I had to do. And so, I got out here, and I realized my very first day out here, it was gonna be more than just a job. It was definitely gonna be a home for me. I was working with a veteran, and he wanted to learn how to
do something called lunging, which is making the horse go
in a circle around the person. Teaching this veteran how to utilize his energy with the horses energy and talk to the horse
across their distance, he was really in the moment,
and I was really in the moment. And I’m like, this is
where I’m supposed to be. This is what I’m supposed to do. And I’m home.
Hey guys, how’s it going? From Sunday October 13th until Saturday October 19th is OCD Awareness Week. In honour of that, all week I will be posting OCD-related videos. I’m not …
Hey guys, how’s it going? From Sunday October 13th until Saturday October 19th is OCD Awareness Week. In honour of that,
all week I will be posting OCD-related videos. I’m not sure what order these are
going to be going in so I’m gonna leave the playlist link down below so you can
see all of them. But today’s video is going to be my own personal story with
OCD, therapy, and medication. I do wanna mention first that the
beginning of this is very intertwined with my depression. I’m not gonna go
in to specifics, but if that’s something that is in any way triggering for you,
just be warned. I’ll leave the time down below of where I’m done talking about
depression and I’m only talking about OCD, so if that is something that you
don’t want to listen to but you still wanna hear the rest of the explanation,
then you can click that and skip this part. But let’s just get straight into it, shall we? So, when I was younger I struggled a lot
with depression. I still struggle a lot with it. I have gotten quite a lot better
in the last handful of years. But that was my… my main mental illness [laughs].
So I never really realized how anxious I was. Because depression just numbs you a
lot, and I was so deep in my depression that I wasn’t aware of any of my other
emotions. So I didn’t clue in I had anxiety. Like, I thought that I was a
bit of a skittish person and maybe a little bit superstitious, but that’s –
that’s really all I thought. So when I was probably in my very early 20s, my
depression finally got bad enough that I went to my doctor about it. And I got onto
some medications, antidepressants. She also made me an intake appointment
at the mental health clinic. And I – I wasn’t ready to get help at that time.
After I starting my medication I felt very on-again-off-again with my
depression. Like, I had some good days and I had some bad days. Which is very very
normal. But I didn’t want… I didn’t want therapy because I didn’t want to – in my
mind waste somebody’s time. Because I was
having some good days. And I kinda got stuck in the mindset of like, “Ok well
what if one of my therapy appointments happens to fall on one of my good days?
And then I’m just wasting the therapist’s time, and that’s time that somebody else could
be getting help.” And long story short, I wasn’t ready to get help yet. And that’s – that’s a thing I think a lot of people go
through. And it sucks, because as soon as you think you need help you should try
to get help. But I did not take that advice. So for a couple years I was just
taking my antidepressants. I was feeling better than I had, but I still wasn’t – I
wasn’t in a great place. Around that same time, I started getting really anxious.
And I actually thought that it was a side effect of my antidepressants.
Because obviously medication can affect you in a bunch of different ways. I’ve
had some very bad reactions to medications, which I’ll talk about as I
get there. But worsening of other disorders can be a side effect of
certain medications. So I thought that the side effect and my antidepressants
was that it was giving me some anxiety. And I didn’t mention it to my doctor
because I didn’t want her to take me off of my antidepressants. Because I don’t
adjust well to medication, it just takes my body a while
longer than usual to get used to new medications. And when I first went on
these medications, it… it got significantly significantly worse for a
month before it even started to get better. And it was, at that time, the worst
that my depression had ever been. Like, I had to have a friend stay over with me
most nights because I wasn’t safe to be left alone. So I didn’t wanna go
through that again, so I didn’t want to tell my doctor. I was like, “You know what,
I’m just feeling a little nervous every now and then. I can deal with that.
It’s fine.” It wasn’t fine. And eventually that grew and grew and grew and then I
kinda slowly accepted the fact that ok, I guess I just have anxiety now. Not
realizing I’ve always had anxiety, and now that I’m in a clearer mind set and
can look back on things, I’ve always been a very anxious person. [laughs]
It didn’t come out of nowhere, I just was so busy with other things didn’t realize
that’s what it was. Anyway, eventually because of circumstances and a bunch of
other factors, I started to get really bad again with my depression. And there was just – there was a lot of other stuff going on,
and sometimes when you’re on a certain
medication for too long it just starts being a little bit less effective. And I
think it was just a combination of those two things and a huge stress in my life
that I don’t really wanna talk about right now. I got – I got really really
depressed. And when I’m depressed I stop taking my medication. Which is stupid, I
know. I’m aware. And I I try to be more aware of it, I try to be better. But at
that time I just – I didn’t care. So I wasn’t taking my medication as often as I
should, so it obviously wasn’t working as well as it should, and everything just
got really really really bad. I’m not gonna go into specifics but I ended up
in the hospital. And while I was there I was talking to the hospital psychologist.
And, you know, we were just – we were talking about things and he was asking a lot of
questions about the rest of my mental health. Obviously he knew I
had depression, that’s why I was there and it was in my chart and everything.
But he was just, you know, doing another mental health
overview. And he was asking about anxiety and I said, “Yeah, you know, I’ve been
anxious a lot lately,” and, you know, answered that. And I told him that I have a lot of
paranoia problems. Because I – I get very paranoid very easily. And I also
mentioned about my House Check. Which… If I’ve already posted the video about my
specific rituals, I’ve mentioned this already. If not, basically any time I was
at home and the thought just popped in my head that somebody might be in my
house, whether that was like there was a sound, or it just popped into my head, or
I woke up in the middle of the night. I would have to do what I called my House Check.
And basically I had to start from one end of the house and walk a very
specific path and check everything in a very specific way to be sure as I
possibly could that there was nobody hiding in my house. If something
interrupted me while I was doing that, like if one of the cats walked in front
of me and I had to walk around them, or like it just didn’t – didn’t feel right, then
I’d have to start over again. If I had to start over again a second time, I would
just leave the house. I n the middle of the night. And just walk around town
until I calm down. And it wasn’t safe. I would just – I wouldn’t even change into
proper clothes, I would just throw on my shoes, I would get my phone and my glasses, and I would just walk around town in the
middle the night for sometimes hours at a time. And it was really inconvenient.
And there was a lot of times where I’d be dead tired and I would know I needed
to sleep, but I just had to walk around town for an hour or so first. And I
brought this up to the doctor and the way I explained it was that sometimes it
just it – just gets stuck in my head and, you know, I had to do this. And he kinda
looked at me, and looking back it was really obvious what he was asking.
But he was like, “Do you ever have any other sorta like obsessions or like
compulsions that you have to do?” And I was like, “Hmmm. Nope, no I don’t think so.”
[laughs] And he was like, “Ok, there’s never any other like obsessive thoughts they get stuck
in your head, or anything else that you have to do to relieve your anxiety?”
I’m like, “Nope, nothing abnormal.” Which, if you watch my video explaining all of my
OCD rituals, you’ll know that… that’s bull. [laughs] But at that time I didn’t realize that
that’s what it was, and I thought that I was just a superstitious or just, you
know, skittish person. I didn’t put two and two together and realize that
that’s OCD. Because I realized that he was basically asking me if I had OCD, and
I knew that I didn’t so I was just saying no. And he obviously didn’t
believe me. He asked some other more general questions that was really
just confirming his suspicions but that I was a completely oblivious of. So
anyway, I left the hospital and I had to make an appointment with my my doctor.
And obviously the hospital psychologist wrote a letter to my doctor explaining
what we talked about and what he thought. And I talked a little bit about
it with my doctor, and she made me another intake appointment at the mental
health clinic. And she put me on some medication at that time. And this is
where it gets kinda fuzzy. I think that first medication I was on for about a
month or so? There was some sort of side effect with it, there’s some reason why we
stopped it And then in the meantime I went to my intake appointment and I live
in Canada so there is access to free mental health services, but the wait list
is fairly long if you want the free services. The wait list I was on was
about ten months until I finally got an actual therapist. There was also – I had access to the crisis line and everything, and I
could be bumped ahead on the list if I was, like, in a very dangerous situation.
But we were trying to control it with medication. So it was about a ten month
wait. And then after that we switched to another medication. The second one, I just
had a very bad reaction to. It caused me horrible horrible memory loss. And I’m
not saying like I was absent-minded or I was forgetful. Certain problems with
memory, focus, attention isn’t abnormal when it comes to trying a new
medication. Because, you know, it’s messing with your brain chemistry. You’re
gonna have some minor side effects and they usually clear up pretty quickly. But
this one was intense memory loss. Like, I can’t remember… probably almost a year.
Like, it’s just gone from my head. And even at the time, my long-term
memory was affected, my short-term memory. There was a couple times I forgot
where I lived. I’ve lived pretty much in the same town
my entire life, and there was one time that I was on my way home and I couldn’t
even tell you what city I lived in. Like, I couldn’t remember my address, I
couldn’t remember what house looked like. Luckily my dad was driving me home
from work that day cuz it was raining or something, so he pulled in the
driveway and I was just thinking like, “Really hoping that my key fits in this
door because this place is not familiar.” And it was- it was terrifying. If I
would have had to walk home on my own, I wouldn’t have made it home. Looking
back it’s almost funny, but it wasn’t at the time. I would be in
the middle of doing dishes at my job at the time. And I’d be standing there with
my big yellow gloves on, standing in front of the sink filled
with dishes, the water was running, I’d be holding the sponge and the dish. And
I’s have no idea what I was doing. I would stand there for like
five, ten full minutes trying to figure out what I was just doing. Even though
I can see that I’m doing dishes, but I just I couldn’t – I couldn’t get it. My
co-workers – side note, my co-workers and my boss at that job
were the most amazing and understanding people. Because I was really open
with my boss about what was going on, because I couldn’t do my job properly.
And she was so understanding and really patient with me. And my coworker that I
always worked with [laughs] I kinda felt bad for her, because basically I would just be
wandering around, picking something up, working on it for two
seconds, and then setting it down in the wrong spot, and then wandering away.
And then starting something else, doing it for two seconds, setting it down in the
wrong spot, and wandering away. And she would just basically spend her
shift following behind me and finishing up what I was doing. Like
putting things away. [laughs] It’s – it’s kinda funny to look back on, but
it really wasn’t funny at the time. I really couldn’t do the most basic things. So this is at the pottery studio by the way. If someone was picking up their
piece, there’s on the bottom of their receipt is what they actually bought and at
the top of the receipt is the order number. So we’d have to look for the
piece and the order number. So I’d be like, “Ok, I’m looking for this type of
mug.” And then I’d look for it and then I’m like, “Oh wait, what type of mug was it?” I’d
have to look again. “Ok, this type of mug. And it would be under this number. Wait,
what type of mug? This type of mug. Ok. Wait, what number? This number. Ok.”
And it would take me so so long. I couldn’t – I couldn’t do anything. It – it
was so bad. I had to have somebody basically babysitting me at all times.
This was also the best and worst time for my mental health, because basically I
only was aware of that exact moment in time. So if I was feeling happy, life was
amazing! Because that’s all I knew was this exact moment of happiness, and
everything was perfect. But if I was having a bad day and I was feeling down
or depressed, since all that existed was that moment, I had zero memory of ever
feeling happy. I only remembered feeling this terrible, like I couldn’t even think
back and think of a half memory because I had no functioning memory, it was
it was so bad. And by the way, the reason I was on the medication for so long is
because I kept forgetting to tell my doctor about it. Eventually the
person that was bringing me to my doctor’s appointments, they were asking
me like, “Why you still on that medication?” I was like, “Hmmm. I dunno.”
And they were like, “Well did you tell your doctor?” And I’m like, “Umm… I dunno.”
So eventually they wrote it down. And they were like, “Ok, when you go in there,
give this note to your doctor. Just hold it out in front of you and make sure
your doctor gets this note.” And then they finally did. And then my doctor’s like,
“Oh, so how is everything going?” I was like, “Everything’s going great! Oh!
[robotically] I have no memory.” [laughs] Because I can’t actually remember it, I more just remember, like – because I was
writing some things down and I’ve gone back and read them or I’ve had
friends tell me things that I’ve said or things that I’ve done. So it’s
almost like a story, it’s not something that happened to me. So I kinda
remember it like it’s a cartoon. So I can laugh at it. But in reality it’s – it’s
frigin terrifying. I finally told my doctor about my memory problems,
and I don’t think I quite conveyed how serious it was. I think I just explained
like, “Hey I’m having a lot of memory problems.” So she – before she took me off
the medication, she wanted to make sure that that’s what it was. So she sent me
to the hospital to get blood work and some tests done, just to make
sure Because at this point my anxiety was feeling a lot better.
Apparently. So they tell me. [laughs] So because I had had some bad reactions in the past,
she was kind of hesitant to take me off of that medication. And also I didn’t
have a therapist yet, so she didn’t want to go around tweaking my meds too much.
And eventually those tests came back, they found out that ok, yeah, it is this
medication that’s destroying your memory. So she switched me to something else.
And I still…like, most of that year is a blank. And I’ve lost so much
long-term memory, like there are so many things that are just blank or I just – I
can’t remember properly. And I’m still having some memory issues. It’s nowhere
near as bad, I’m more just more absent-minded than I used to be. But it
was – it was horrible. It was very very horrible. [laughs] So then I was on another kind
of medication that I stayed on for about four months, I think? But during those
four months is when I finally got my therapist. I’m gonna be honest: I hated
therapy at first. I thought it was stupid, I thought it was a waste of time, I [sigh]
Around that time I was getting really angry at myself because I was struggling
so much and… I dunno, I just – I wasn’t handling things very well, and I just –
I just was really mad at myself, and I was really impatient with everything. And at
first I didn’t like my therapist. I thought that the questions she was asking
me were dumb, I thought that, you know [sigh] Which I think is a thing that a lot
of people go through. And if you’re feeling that way, if you’re feeling discouraged,
just stick it out for a little while. And if after a while you still don’t
think that it’s working, talk to your doctor, talk to your
therapist, tell them what’s not working and why. And they’ll be able to help you.
There were so many times I was gonna quit therapy, but the person that
was bringing me to my appointments, they knew that I had to go. And they were
like, “Ok well I’m not gonna let you not go until your therapist says that you
don’t have to go. If you have a real valid reason, we’ll work it out then, but
if not you’re not gonna just quit this.” I’m really glad because I definitely
would have quit if it wasn’t for them. Therapy started off slow but eventually
it started to become helpful. We tackled my depression first, because that was the
thing that was putting me in danger. So we went through all that, I learned a lot
of things, different coping mechanisms, and we really worked on that. We also
worked on sleep a lot. Because I’ve always had insomnia, even when
I was really young I’ve never been able to sleep properly. And that in
itself causes a ton of other things. So we focused on that a lot. And then we
kinda just gradually worked up to the OCD. What helped me in therapy was
treating it like school. If I treated it like a doctor’s visit and like working
on myself, I got angry and I would on some level resist it. If I treated it
like school and like homework and stuff, I’m a Ravenclaw. And I was always a
really good student, I was just – I’m dedicated to learning. So having it
in that mindset really helped me, and my therapist caught on to that very quickly
that when she presented things in that way, as like a “we’re not talking about you
right now, but in general this is how anxiety works.” [laughs]
And kinda presenting it that way was really really helpful for me. One of the
first things she did that was so helpful is she basically printed off this
there’s a big medical research paper about the physical and
biological reason of why we have anxiety. And that helped me so much. Because now
it wasn’t just me being, you know, a wimpy little scaredy-cat. This doesn’t
mean that I’m not smart enough to know I’m not in danger. My panic mechanism is
just broken and keeps randomly firing for no good reason.
And she kinda really just slowly transitioned the anxiety stuff into OCD
stuff. And I think she – she was very smart, smarter than I gave her credit for in
the beginning, I’ll be honest. And it was just a very gradual process that
slowly got me comfortable with the idea that, “Ok, she’s right, she knows what
she’s talking about. This does make sense. Ok.” And like I said, the best thing that
I learned in therapy was just how to be aware of my thoughts and basically to
just – not necessarily question all of my thoughts, but just… when I have a thought
pop into my head that is making me feel anxious, or I’m just putting a lot of
weight on, being able to tell ok, is this my own thought? Is this a conscious,
valid logical, thought? Or is this something that popped into my head? Is
this an intrusive thought? Is this OCD? And those habits and just
being able to get into that mindset of being aware of my thoughts and which
thoughts are mine and which thoughts are my anxiety, my depression, my OCD, really
has helped me in so many other times. Like in September when I just had a
really really frigin bad month, and I would get these thoughts popping into my
head that were either unsafe or other – like, my OCD thoughts coming back. Instead
of just immediately being like, “Well it’s in my head so obviously it’s true.” I would
be able to, you know, kinda stop and think for a second like, “Ok. Why am I
thinking this? Am I really thinking this? Does this make sense?” And then react
accordingly. If you’ve never experienced this, the best way I can describe it is
it’s like when you know that you only got an hour of sleep last night. And then
you’re just short-tempered all day. You’re just mindful of, “Ok, I’m feeling really mad right now. But I know that I’m not
actually mad at this person, or this situation. I know that this is because
I’m tired.” And things like that. It’s – it’s a very similar thing, it’s like
“This is how I’m feeling right now, this is what I’m thinking right now. But I
know that this isn’t really me thinking or feeling this, this is This talking. This
is my tiredness, my hunger, my PMS talking. I’m not – I’m not actually mad at…
this person that took my parking spot. I’m just cranky.” It’s a similar mindset
to that. And that has helped me so frigin much. And also at the same time
as this, I switched to a new medication that is really really helping me. It is a
very noticeable difference. Like, within a month of taking it I could feel my
natural panic levels being so much lower. My daily anxiety that I didn’t even
realize, and it’s like I said in my first video, there isn’t a medication for OCD.
For the most part it’s just anxiety medication that helps you feel calm
enough to use the techniques and things you learn in therapy to feel calm enough
to basically get over it on your own. So fast forward to now. I have to take an
antidepressant every day and a couple anxiety meds every day. Just as my daily
medication to be able to keep me at a functional state. And I practice my
techniques and little tips and tricks that I’ve learned through therapy to
stay healthy, caught up. I don’t have to go to weekly therapy anymore, but of
course I’m still on file, I’m still listed as a patient under my therapist.
So if I ever do start to slip and can’t handle it on my own, I can reach out to
her, she can book me in, I can go back to having regular meetings with
her. But I don’t need to attend regular meetings with her, because I am trusted
enough to be on my own. So that is my complete mental health medical history.
I hope you guys enjoyed this video. If you did, please click the Like button to let
me know. I’m gonna be posting OCD-related videos this whole week, so don’t forget
to subscribe so you can catch them all. And also all of the regular videos
I post every Wednesday and Sunday, usually reading or writing related.
If there’s any specific questions you guys had about this or anything else about
OCD, then let me know down below or feel free to DM me on Twitter if you’re not
comfortable asking in the comments. I’m probably gonna do with Q&A for
my final video of the week, but even if I don’t, I’ll still answer your question. But that is all I have today,
so thank you guys so much for watching. I hope to see you guys next time,
and until then: Have a great day, bye!
[Laquanda Harris-George] I had my first son when I was 18. My son was born sick, he had pneumonia. It was a very hard and trying time. Scared, I didn’t know …
[Laquanda Harris-George] I had my first son
when I was 18. My son was born sick, he had pneumonia. It was a very hard and trying time.
Scared, I didn’t know anything, and then I found out when he was 9 months, that I was
5 months pregnant with his brother. I was not aware consciously that I was suffering
from depression. It made the simplest things very hard, nearly impossible to do. [Sheree
Toth] We have extensive research that shows that when moms have a baby that they’re
certainly at significantly increased risk of depression. And when you’re looking at
moms who have multiple stressors in their lives, including living in poverty, living
in neighborhoods with high crime, about 1 in 4 women experience major depressive disorders.
[Harris-George] After dealing with a sick child and having another child unexpectedly,
it was hard, and that’s when I got introduced to the program. [Margaret Figueroa] I worked
with Laquanda for about a year. The IPT program is a home visiting model, so I would go out
to her home on a weekly basis. The majority of the focus is on what’s currently happening,
right now, and what is contributing to their mood, whether it’s events, situations, relationships
they might be in. [Toth] Unfortunately there’s a significant stigma still associated with
seeking help for a mental illness and I think it’s even worse in minority populations.
There’s somewhat of a sense of, “we should be able to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps”,
and, “we really don’t need any extra help”. [Harris-George] Something’s going on, but
you can’t quite put your finger on it. Until I was presented with the information it was
something that I never really heard, or was aware I was going through, but it helped me
pinpoint what was the trigger that caused it and ways to treat it. [Toth] It’s so
important as a field that we continue to expand our efforts to look at whether these interventions
can be effective with lower-income, more diverse populations, and I think this is a really
important step in that direction. [Harris-George] While I was in the program, I got pregnant
with my last son. I was at a better place to be able to receive him. Margaret helped
me to keep my head above water, to keep level-headed. [Figueroa] Laquanda was a bit more unique
in that she had the family support, she’s married and parenting her 3 children along
with her husband. While she had that good support, she was also struggling with the
depressive symptoms that were creeping up on that day-to-day basis for her. [Harris-George]
I didn’t see my child as a burden, so much, but I saw him as a priority. She worked with
me to help me see that it was OK for me to set goals and say, “I can still do something
with my life”. [Figueroa] Well it feels good to see her succeed and attain some of
those goals that she had set for herself, a long time ago, before she had children.
[Harris-George] I’ve always said I want to be in the medical field, and I am going
to school now to be a dental hygienist. I’m very happy. It’s been a long time coming.
My biggest concern was what people thought. Um, you grow up with all your mates and you grow up with your family and you think well, you know what are they …
My biggest concern was what people thought.
Um, you grow up with all your mates and you grow up with your family and you think well,
you know what are they going to think? They’re going to think well I’m weak.
You know you’re weak. I thought negative thoughts a lot. There was a couple of times there that I I wanted to end my life. My name’s Joe Meggetto.
I’m a dairy farmer at Warragul South. I milk 250 cows and I’ve been doing that for about 28 years. I’ve had some challenges the last few years in regards to mental health. It’s been a tough couple of years with the
dairy industry that we are in ….the prices, the weather and those type of things. They are all, they are all challenges that all add up. The bad thoughts, the dark holes I was thinking of, I was always thinking no one deserves to find me, if I do take my own life. In the early days, I was really touching base with a lot of my friends. They didn’t know what I was going through but I was always texting them saying; “how you going?” and “what are you up to?” because I wanted to probably open up about it, but I wasn’t getting there. I wasn’t getting there to
open up about it. And the turning point for me was… my wife’s family is very close and every year we go away and they were all having a great time and I’m thinking they are all really happy and cheery and I’m just you know, down in
the dumps and thinking negative about myself. I ended up going to bed and then when my wife Michelle was coming to bed I just broke down in tears, I just broke down in tears and that’s when I sort of started to umm think, you know, well this might be the right time to really
go and source some help. Managing it to a day to day basis since I’ve been to see my GP, I’m on medication and um before I opened up about it, it was all
bottling up inside and I think once you open up about it, it’s just a total weight off
your shoulders. I think the more, the more talking of it the
more um things we can do as a community that can help people in the mental health side
of things well that can slowly break the stigma. If you are really struggling with it, seek
help and take that first step. We’ve gotta be prepared to open up about it. It took me two or three years to take that first step, but at the end of the day you’re number one. I still get bad days don’t get me wrong.
I’ve been fortunate enough and strong enough to open up about it and it’s made my life a lot easier so there’s help out there. There’re all these different organisations
that are really willing to help. And don’t be scared to talk to your mates about it and ring me! I don’t care, ring me! I’ll talk to ya.